28 February 2012

Bad TV, Awkward Situations, Gas Stations, And A Jeep With A Grudge -- RTTR

At this moment in time, I'm procrastinating work, because I feel like crap. I've had a perpetual cold for a month now. It's driving me insane. It's cold outside, and supposedly it's hot in the house. I feel like I'm chilling in Greenland, though, and I can't breathe out of my nose. I figured I'd actually post my Tuesday blog a little earlier than Tuesday night, almost Wednesday. Sounded like a good plan at the time, but now I'm stuck watching The Voice. Wow. This is worse than Idol, but with better judges fights. Well, mentors? What do you call them?  Button Guardians?  Whatever.. this is bad. And I'm kind-of mad that I can't just watch something I DVR'd last week and never got around to.

My gorgeous Jeep is running again. And since Husband decided to drive it to work today, he has to put gas in it. BAM! I dodged the bullet on that one. It took me an hour, but she's not parked anymore, and that makes me happy. Now if I could just convince Husband to sell his crappy car in favor of something he can actually use, we'd be set.

I went to the gas station yesterday, and I wore my awesome RAVN shirt. It got a couple of app downloads for the dudes behind the badassery, and I ended up ruining my workout jacket. Also, they were out of Dr. Pepper. WHO DOES THAT?! I was sad panda for sure.

So, I know I'm awkward, but sometimes, the situations I find myself in, are too awkward to be all me. Does that make sense? I found myself trying to explain bootstrapping and Venture Capitalists to my Mom, and the ensuing conversation was just.. I don't know.. confusing at best?

And I just watched big momma almost take Carson Daly down. My life is complete. Totally just messed up my train of thought. I'm done for this Tuesday. Tune in next week for, hopefully, a more exciting post. With less Button Guardians.

Omg. Country music is singing stories? I thought it was singing A STORY, over and over.. okay, for real, I'm done. Stupid show.


Head on over to Stacy's, grab a button, and link to the fun. Rebellion is best served with an awkward blog post that makes no sense, didn't you know?

26 February 2012

A Bit Of Sunday Soul-Searching (And Whining)

After the week I've had, I've done a lot of thinking. Like, why am I always the one left sacrificing and no one else bothers trying? Why am I always the one that has to back down and let everyone else have their way? Why do I always get overlooked, no matter what the situation is?

Why am I still wearing the same stuff I wore in High School, even though it doesn't fit anymore?! I need some new clothes.. bad.

I know it sounds completely whiny, but seriously, I'm always the one left holding the short straw. No one ever listens to anything I have to say, and it's easy for people to treat me poorly. I guess I'm not as bad ass as I would like to think. I always end up being the one who backs down, and gives others their way. It's becoming quite the burden, actually, and I'm getting tired of being treated like what I think or feel doesn't matter.

The only thing that I have any real control over is my writing, so I just keep clinging to it. I have like 30 random pieces I've been piddling around with, none of which are finished. I've been so down lately, I don't know how I'll pick myself up off my pillow pet some days.

Don't judge me, that thing is the best invention ever. It's the perfect pillow, complete with a place to hold onto.. the head. And it's soft and comfy and doesn't leave me waking up with a rat's nest where my hair used to be.

I make the budget and the meal plan for the two weeks in between paychecks and the likes. No one bothers to even acknowledge it. The budget is like a guideline to people.. except me. So, when we run short, or have to skip out on something, it's me that's left giving something up (like coffee and Dr. Pepper, two of my four vices). The one that tries so hard to make everything balance is always the one left out, and left holding all the blame.

I recently had no other option than to buy new glasses. I had to blow my budget to get my lenses, so I was left a crying mess in the middle of Lenscrafters. This also happened when I had to buy a pair of boots to make it through winter. If I have to spend something on myself, I get really out-of-sorts, and when I realized that the following two weeks would be tight, I made the decision to take the glasses back. I was told not to, that it wouldn't serve any purpose, and yet no one bothered to help see where we could cut random spending to make things a little less strained at the bank. Just me.

Now, I used to get told the reason that I had to make sacrifices (like not eating for days, and not sleeping, etc) was because I didn't have a job. Even when I had a job, it wasn't one where I "punched a time clock", so it was considered "stupid doodles on the internet". It really hurts to know that I'm not appreciated for the long hours and dedication I put in to be someone.. to make something of myself.. to better our family.

I have no say in anything, and yet everything is left up to me. I moved home, with my mom, not because I'm a loser, but to help her. My parents are older than most of my friend's my age, and my mom is all alone. She works long hours in a really strenuous place, and she just couldn't keep going the way she was and not have any help around the house. I help with the bills as much as I can, and I cook, clean, run errands, make phone calls, and try to relieve some stress on her.

I don't mind, not even in the least. I love this house, this area, and my mom. She's one of my best friends, as well as a huge supporter of my aspirations to do something with my life. She supports my long hours, lack of good pay, and dedication. She takes over the dishes and the laundry when she's off, and it's a huge help. She lets me sleep in when she knows I've been up too late, and helps me with the Kid. I try to make things as easy as possible, but it always seems like something goes wrong, and I'm left feeling like the worst daughter ever.

I just get sick and tired of everyone thinking I'm some terrible person because I don't visit often enough, or do things their way. I get tired of being made to "go along" with whatever everyone else wants, and told to basically not have an opinion or desire that isn't going to be the same as theirs. It really sucks, and it gets me down.

THEN I start feeling like a douchebag because I'm whining and feeling all "poor me". I spend all day acting happy and tough, but sometimes, I just can't play the part anymore. Like last night.. when I texted a friend, crying and down, and spilled all my crap onto him. It wasn't fair, and I still need to tell him I'm sorry. I don't have anyone to talk to, because if I say anything to anyone, I'm a bitch and I just want to make someone miserable.

That's totally not true. I'm actually a really nice person, who's constantly a door mat. I get pushed around, used, treated like crap.. hell, I've been told I'm worthless, the worst thing that ever happened to Husband, a bad parent... my kid has told me she doesn't love me so many times I've become almost completely numb. I'm no good, a time suck, I don't do anything but play around on the computer all day, etc. It really gets old hearing these things all the time. Especially when I hear them from my kid and people I don't even know.

Why would anyone talk about me like that? I try so hard to make everyone happy, that I end up losing my own needs and wants in the process. If I actually stand up for myself, I get threatened and talked down to until I just give in, because I've given up.

Is this how it's supposed to be? I thought compromise was a two-way street? Since when was it okay to make someone your punching bag, again and again, and treat them like they aren't important. Everyone, in some way or another, is important. Everyone has a mind and feelings, and they matter. Even if they're different than you, they still deserve to be happy, heard, acknowledged, and loved.

I guess I'm jut tired of feeling worthless to everyone. Also, I'm really tired of feeling down on myself. I guess when you hear it every day, you just kind-of start to believe it. That shouldn't happen, but it does. I'm only human, and I can only take so much shit from people before I get overloaded.

I wish I was the happy little bad ass that everyone thinks I am.. I used to be.. I guess I've just gotten lost along the way.

23 February 2012

Mass Effect 3 Article Is Finally Live

Yes, I know. I've been working on it for weeks.

I finally sucked my pride up and leaned heavily on already given information. I know, that sucks. Everyone I was supposed to interview either gave me an e-mail shutting me down, or bailed out on me.

With what I had to work with, I think I knocked it out. It's pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

Here's a preview and a link:

For everyone in love with Shepard (or FemShep, as fans call the female version), the sleepless nights spent waiting on the release of Mass Effect 3 are almost over. From the very first scene of the very first game, it’s been a romance worth all the hours logged. I’ve been sighing and drooling over the website for months. The demo has been out for a minute, and people are loving it. I’ve been scouring the internet, and picking people’s brains, and I’ve come up with a little bit of information to share with theRaspwire masses... continue reading.

Don't forget to keep checking back to the site, because we're about to roll out some sweet changes!

Happy Thursday!

mmm.. Commander! *drools*

21 February 2012

Latest Articles That I'm Sure I Forgot To Link To

I wrote this, that, and a little in between.. here are the latest ones that I probably forgot to "pimp". With my new fancy promotion, I really should get better at this stuff.

The One Where I Rant Like Crazy:

Life Called, Your Bandwagon Is Waiting Downstairs…but it would serve everyone quite well if you missed it.
Have you ever noticed all the things you love becoming fads and trends? It sucks. I notice it all the time, and it makes me sad for the people who are calling a bandwagon taxi to Trendy Town. I am using my own experiences to rant about this topic, but I’m sure there are lots of people out there that can relate. Well, actual relation may or may not be present, because some people will relate because it’s the new trend... continue reading.

The One Where I Talk About My Tweeting Husband And His Ability To Get Me Through Idol:

American Idol Recap
And boy was it ridiculous. How some of those people even made it far enough to participate in this round, amazes me to the point of complete and utter shock. This week was all about the beginning of the Vegas round, which, unfortunately, is basically an extension of Hollywood. I also had some major help getting through it from my husband. He decided he was going to start a Twitter account just to make work a family affair... continue reading.

And The One Where I Fan Girl All Over My Favourite YouTube Channels:

I have the best job in the world. I get to surf the web all day, watch TV at night, and write about anything I want to. It makes me all warm and fuzzy to know that I get to share my opinions — good or bad — with the masses.
Also, I get to wear my pajamas most of the day. That’s always a nice feeling.
Now, I love me some YouTube. It’s awesome. I can get lost for hours watching videos of people popping cysts, the weirdness of “scene queens”, crazy Photoshop wonders, and lame slide shows... continue reading.

Okay, so that about covers it. I highly suggest you keep checking back over the next few weeks. There are going to be chachachaaaanges. All over the place. You're going to love it.

Peace out.. not literally. Whatever. Yep. Just went there.

Promotion, Lots Of Cooking, Rant Articles, And Stuff: RTTR

Another late RTTR post. I know, I suck. Get over it. I had stuff to do. Also, I had a nap to take. That was awesome, I'm not gonna lie.

Anyhow, I got a promotion. It's awesome. I'm not just a writer anymore, I'm Managing Editor. What? I know, right?! I'm cheesing just writing it. I have so many awesome ideas, and it seems like I'm constantly writing them down. They just come to me.. I don't know. Whatever.

My last article? It's gotten a lot of attention. I guess people really like when they get to read someone else ranting away. I just get so mad when people do stupid shit. Like, really, if you want to say you're obsessed with zombies, at least know something about them. And Tim Burton stuff.. I swear, the next time someone sits there and says they're obsessed with The Nightmare Before Christmas and Tim Burton's work, I'm going to die. Or dragon kick the shit out of them. It's so annoying. If you like it, cool. Say that. Don't be like "OMFGIMTOTALLYOBSESSEDANDILOVEALLOFTHETHINGS!!!!"

Be honest with yourself. Also, don't talk about it in front of me. When I contradict you, and you get pissed off, it makes me really sad for you. If you're going to fan girl all over something, learn about it first. That's all I'm asking.

I've been doing some pretty amazing cooking lately, I'm not even gonna lie. I've made barbecue chicken that will blow your mind, lots of yummy pasta salad, anything I can put spinach in, great spaghetti and pizzas, and I made some ridiculously awesome parmesan crusted chicken breasts, that were probably the greatest things ever the other night.. err.. last night? Anyway... moving on, since I just completely blanked out on what all I've made lately..

Kiddo has been driving me nuts. I can't wait until the three stage is over. I wish I had the terrible two's back.. so hard.. omg. She refuses to listen to me, and is mean as shit until Husband gets home. When he gets home, she's good for him. I hate being the least favourite parent. It blows. At least the cat loves me.. and even he gets pissy when he thinks I'm not going to remember to give him his second scoop of food before bed. I can't catch a break.

I seriously think I married a dumbass. He walked past me, just now, with his ass hanging out of his shorts. I hate that shit. He knows this. So what does he do when I tell him to pull them up? He comes back out with them around his knees and asks me who I was talking to.

Someone, anyone, husband for sale. You can have him.

This concludes Random Tuesday Rebellion, and all the fun that's had with it. Tune in next week for more fun and shenanigans. Also, don't forget to check out our leader, Stacy, for more awesomeness and bloggy goodness.

Happy Randoming and Rebelling, y'all!

15 February 2012

A Foray Into Word-ish Wednesday

I took some amazing photos of the Munchkin today while we were "chalkin'".

It's a real thing. She made it up today. New meme, guys. Chalkin'.

Enjoy the cuteness, and the amazing day we were graced with today.

I found this awesome blog hop through the ever amazing Stacy, so if you want to get on board, go check her out.

14 February 2012

My Take On Reactions To Celebrity Deaths

Right now. Right this very second. The public is going crazy over the death of Whitney Houston. So crazy, in fact, people that made fun of her, never listened to her music without cracking a joke, and generally couldn’t care less, are “crying” and “dying inside” and “completely devastated” via Facebook, Twitter, Google +, their blogs, and ... continue reading.

You might actually want to read it before burning me at the stake, just sayin'.

There's Work And Then There's Housework -- RTTR

NOTE: I wrote this Monday night, because I thought it was Tuesday, despite the fact that I had just watched and live tweeted The Bachelor. Don't judge me, my brain is fried.

First, let's talk about those people in your family that are always out to get you. You'd think after spending an entire childhood being a fucking bitch would be enough for some, but no. They drag it all over into adulthood, because they can't grow up. Stalking your FAMILY MEMBERS on FACEBOOK is RIDICULOUS. Please grow up soon, thanks.

Second, let's talk about work. I'm working on so many things I can't keep them all straight. Funnest thing going on is trying to get press passes to a stellar concert full of epic win. Least funnest thing (hat statement is one that totally works in my head, but is so wrong on paper.. blogger.. whatever), but one that I feel compelled to work on, is a piece on people and celebrity deaths. It's hard to write it in a manner that won't get a brick through my window, but I think I can pull it off. We shall see.. I'm setting myself a midnight deadline to hurry the process along.

Third thing, my eyesight. This problem keeps rearing its ugly little face. I can barely see, my glasses are crap, and I'm in so much pain it's just not cool. I really hope I can grab a new pair of glasses and it will magically disappear, but I'm almost positive it won't. I think my sight is going to be as bad as some of my family members. Lame.

Fourth.. wait, why am I counting? Wow. I'm losing it.

Housework. SUCK MY NUTS! I know that it's a huge part of my duties and all, but seriously. People can't even make it to the trash can or the laundry room ONCE A DAY. I'm literally doing EVERYTHING. I'm exhausted, I'm drained, I'm sick of it. The only person in the house that will take a piece of trash to the trashcan is me. There are two other adults and a kid, who USED to love throwing things away, and nothing ever makes it. It makes it to the kitchen table, RIGHT NEXT TO THE TRASHCAN, but not in it. I don't get it. I'm lost. Also, the floors needing to be deep cleaned every single day is getting insane. I can't keep up. I commend people with more than one kid, and I can totally sympathize.

My Valentine's Day present will most likely arrive AFTER tomorrow, and that sucks. I did get a super sweet owl print bag from Journey's today. It's exactly what I needed for running around with the Munchkin. I no longer have to deal with my bag falling off my shoulder, because it's a cross-body bag. It's got a really pretty yellow silk lining, too. Cheap, quick, cute, fun, easy.. everything I needed. TAKE THAT Coach bag I've been drooling over for months!

I'm making a really amazing roast for tomorrow. I'm not planning on going anywhere unless it's to Lowe's to get a tub repair kit. We didn't make it today, so maybe tomorrow. Who knows.. I'd really like to get my shower fixed, but I'm the queen of putting home repairs off.

This concludes Random Tuesday.. because I'm starting to bore and confuse myself. Oh, and if you haven't seen Code Monkeys, the 8-bit cartoon G4 TV came up with, you're missing out. Get on Netflix and watch it. It's awesome.

Head on over to Stacy's blog, grab a button, write some crazy shit, and link up to the awesome fun that is Random Tuesday Thoughts. We're still at the rebellion, and it's so much fun I think you'd like doing it, too.

Peaces.. Deuces.. Peace.. Whatevs.

10 February 2012

Nerdy Valentine's Day Gifting

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and people are starting to panic. There’s just something about gift giving, when a forever young fat kid is wielding some arrows, that puts everyone in a fit of crazy. I personally don’t get gifts, so I don’t really care. I just find myself a really fantastic present online and “surprise” myself.
But, for those of you that are scrounging around, pulling your hair out and fighting people over cards in the stationery isle, I’ve taken the guess work out of finding your favorite nerd that perfect present. Or, if that special nerd is yourself, here’s a list of ways to surprise yourself come the 14th.

I'm always posting up something awesome over at Raspwire, so I would definitely be checking it out ALL OF THE TIMES! Remember, I'm just one of many writers over there, and we all have different perspectives. Check out all the articles, and support one of the coolest sites out there.

And don't forget your favourite writer on Valentine's Day! *hinting*

07 February 2012

Men And Excuses, Sandwiches and Cats, And Saving Lots Of Money With The Internet: RTTR

So, again, Husband has made an excuse not to make the drive from Louisiana to Georgia. I've done it alone with a cranky toddler and a scared-to-death cat. I think he can make it on his own. I'm not into men's excuses. Every guy I've ever dated has always had a plethora of them. It's starting to get old. They wonder why women always bitch at them all the time, and I can't really sympathize with them. They do it to themselves.

When are women ever allowed the opportunity to make an excuse when something they don't want to do is coming up?

Don't want to cook for four extra people that showed up without notice and uninvited? Fuck you! Get your ass in the kitchen and make these people some sammiches.

Don't want to make brownies for your husband's entire workplace or your kid's school bake sale? Too bad. It's your job. Get to it. Don't whine while you're doing it, either, because we'll laugh at you.

House dirty? Put your computer down, stop doing your job, and start doing your real job. Scrub those floors!

What I am trying to say is, I'm not ever allowed to make excuses for not being productive or not doing what people think I am supposed to be doing. I have to work through any illness, irregardless of how I feel; I must make sure everything and everyone is fixed up, all nice and happy and satisfied, no matter what I have going on; I make plans, and they're always iffy because I may or may not have to drop them for someone else. It's a drag, and I hate it.

So, Husband gets to make another excuse, and I have to rearrange my schedule to compensate. When is it my turn?

Hey, I don't feel like you coming home tomorrow, why don't you do it today, when the fuck you said you would, because you've already changed your mind ten different times, and save me the trouble of having to put up with your shit? How's that sound?

I'm not happy. I shouldn't blog angry. He's not so bad.. well, he's a total asshole, but hey, most men are assholes. I'm just tired of excuses. I can't make them, so I think perfectly capable people shouldn't make them constantly, either.

Moving on!

My cat stole half of my sandwich. He drug it right off the plate, carried it off to wherever he goes to hide, and came back smelling like caesar vinaigrette. I guess I made a man a sandwich today, after all.

He also has a thing for poptarts, but only the kind with lots of sprinkles on the outside. Fucking weirdo.

Hershey's Cookies 'n Creme candy has nothing on Palmer's. Palmer's is the best. Nom.

I did a lot of online shopping in the past few weeks. I found a pair of boots for myself and my Mom, a coat for her to wear to work (that has to be returned because, hello, how is anyone supposed to fit into that thing), and a new cell phone case.

I've saved hundreds, and it always feels nice to get a deal. $80 phone case for $11 and super cheap 1-3 day shipping? Yes please! $300 boots for $35 and free shipping? Of course! But in the end, I guess I would've compromised and bought something less, how do I say this, nice, to save money. I just happened to get lucky.

Though, the cell phone case thing was non-negotiable. I won't ever skimp on one again. The cheap one I bought shattered into a couple hundred pieces when I sat my phone down on a counter a little too hard. Insanity.

Still rebelling, one Tuesday at a time. Head on over to Stacy's awesome blog and link up to the fun!

My Two Latest Articles On Raspwire Are Here.. Yesterday

The latest in Idol bashing is here, and it's my longest one to date. It turned out that way, because the last week of auditions were just insane. I still can't decide if I mean that in a good way or a bad way.

The Idol Auditions Are Over With A Bang

My next amazing article is all about my social awkwardness and what happens when people let me out in public. It's pretty embarrassing, but I take one for the team to bring you hilarious content.

It's what I do.

An Adventure In Socially Awkward Interaction

Check them out, and don't forget that the week is still young. I have many more articles to come. Three on YouTube stars I can't get over, another week of Idol train wrecks, and probably something else. Who knows? It all depends on how much sleep I want this week.

02 February 2012

My Latest Articles That I Am Just Now Posting Links To

I'm sorry, my awesome blog readers, that I am a total douchebag.

I haven't gotten around to posting the links to my two latest articles, and my next one will be finished by tomorrow.

Here they are, for any of you that are following my new career/the crap that I write:

The One Where I Write About Rooting Android Phones & The Cool Apps You Need


The One Where I Admit To Watching 'The Bachelor'

Always feel free to like, share, link-to, comment on.. I love getting feedback. Without it, writers would be no where.

Look for the link to my next American Idol article, because you know you want to see me shame myself some more!

I love all the support you guys have given me, and I appreciate ALL of you, even the douchenuts who e-mail me to tell me how much I suck. Your funny e-mails keep me going.