My Take On Your Take On Chicks Who Game

Hi, I'm Kate, and I'm (obviously) a chick. I am a chick who games; I mean, I really game.

I don't pose half-naked with my controller for Facebook pictures and I don't play those ridiculous "take care of this baby animal" games on my hot pink DS. I don't even have a DS, truth be told; I have a first-gen PSP. I have been known to sit on a couch for days on end -- no shower, no sleep, no food -- and play KOTOR until my eyeballs were almost literally bleeding. I used to think budgeting for a new game was the most important financial decision I would make that week, and I made grown men cry as they watched me blow through Halo 2 on Legendary with no deaths and no do-overs.

I really hate the stereotypes that come with being a girl who loves video games. This week's rant is all about them. If you're a dude, a chick, or a unicorn on a mission from the Deep Sea, you might want to take a look at this. Make an informed decision on REAL chicks who play video games, please and thanks.

Yes, I am a nerd. No, I am not ugly.

I actually look something like this... this is my face. For realz.

Most people assume, while they sit there and judge "real girl gamers", that we must be troglodytes. Nope. Not true. I may be a nerd, but that doesn't mean I'm some hideous beast, donning my viking helmet and my coke-bottle specs, quoting Star Trek and swooning over a first edition Batman comic like I'm a character from Lord of the Rings. I'm a normal chick, quoting Star Trek in my coke bottle glasses and viking helmet, swooning over a first edition Batman comic. I game because I love it. I've gloriously wasted days, weeks, and months of my life, playing Final Fantasy, Halo, Fable, Mass Effect, Silent Hill, Resident Evil, Mario Kart, Elder Scrolls, and any other game I can get my hands on. I don't have to be some ugly weirdo to be a true gamer. PEOPLE, Y U BE HATING?! Jeez Louise.

Girl Gamers Use Their Sex Appeal To Get Attention

This speaks for itself. It speaks the truth.

Not true. Usually, I use my charming asshole disposition and a fake mustache to do that. I don't need my boobs or a skimpy outfit, thanks. I can sit on a couch and gain respect for my skills, for your information. My looks are useless when it comes to gaming; my skills, however, are infinitely useful. I gained a lot of friends and memories battling it out with the boys to Star Wars: Battlefront II. Those were some good times. I didn't use my boobs to mash buttons, I used my abnormally tiny hands. I was probably wearing a Dragon Ball Z shirt and hadn't shaved my legs. I'm pretty sure that's not using my "rack" or my "sex appeal" to game it up with others. Actually, it's pretty gross, but it's the truth.

Girl Gamers Only Play Stupid Games/With A Pink Controller

How do you keep a controller that actually gets used bedazzled? You don't.

Um, huh? Come again? No, guy. No. I have NEVER once in my entire gaming life owned a pink controller. They annoy me. They're all this baby shower pink color, and that's just not my scene. My controller is black and white, with a really kick-ass design on it. I also have several controllers that are just plain ones that came with the system of choice. And as for the "stupid games", you won't find a single game that has anything to do with babies, fashion, mini pets, bakeries, jewelry, Barbies, or pop star life, anywhere in my collection. I don't roll that way. I prefer FPS or RPGs. The only animal I play with is my dog on Fable II and III. Also, I don't abhor the color pink, but I don't tend to make everything I own pink because I have lady parts; so, you know, there's that. Do you own lots of blue stuff just because you're a dude? Do you only buy things that are blue because you've got dude parts? Probably not. Shut up.

Girls Only Game To Get Guys To Like Them

"What's that thing that keeps killing me?" "LULZ. Dumbass."

Seriously, this one gets me every time. I couldn't care less than I already do who likes me and who doesn't. No boyfriend or girlfriend I ever had cared whether I gamed or not. My husband actually wishes I didn't game, because I take time away from his gaming. I really hate stereotypes, but this one bothers me. I game for the sheer and utter enjoyment I get from it. I love delving deep into a world that's far more interesting than the one I live in. It's my escape, and it's my chill-zone. Some girls may game for that reason, but they aren't gamers. They're "gamer girls", whereas real chick gamers are just chicks who game. There's a difference. If you want to sit there and whine about chick gamers, whine about the fact that we are usually pwning noobz and telling people to run back to their mommy over LIVE. Come at me bro!

All Girl Gamers Think Rikku Is The Best Character Ever

You were hotter at Comicon with chest hair...

I hate Rikku. I actually laugh at people who cosplay as her. It makes me laugh especially hard to see guys do it. That's all I have to say about that. All my gamer friends that are girls choose other favorites as well. This is a ridiculous stereotype; completely insane. Where did it even come from? I hated those Final Fantasy games. I choose Final Fantasy 11 and Final Fantasy Tactics over them every time. I'm not even sure what to write, like, how did this even start?

Girl Gamers Get Attention Because They're Stupid

Duhrrrrrrr.

I have an IQ of 187. I may be a complete ditz at times, but I am extremely intelligent, and I really resent the assumption that I'm stupid because I'm a girl who loves to game. Most of the time, girl gamers get attention because they're taking their clothes off. When girls who actually love to game get attention, they're either famous, or being picked on for not being "sexy" enough. It all comes down to image again. It actually takes a lot of hand/eye coordination and strategy to be a good gamer. Men aren't the only sex that possess these qualities, and anyone that says otherwise is a jackass. The over-sexualization of females in the gaming industry is craziness, and the reason that this is even a problem. Your looks shouldn't merit whether you gain attention for your hobby of choice, and it does make you look stupid to sit there and rub a controller all over your face and chest. That's not what it's intended for, and it's not what you should be doing to get your name out there. Thanks for making us all look like that in society's eyes, chick.

Gamer Girls Are So Annoying

Because PS2 was out when you were 5, right? Riiiiight.

Yes. Gamer girls are completely obnoxious, and they make me want to rip their vocal cords out. Real chicks, who just love to nerd out in front of a console, aren't constantly stating that they're a chick who plays games every five seconds. Usually, we walk into a store or a room, and we're totally normal people. If I enter a room, and people are playing a video game, I'm like "'Sup dude. Whatcha playin'? Ah, cool. Pass me a controller. Fuck a headset, just get me in the game!" Now, a few girls I know, would enter the aforementioned situation something like this: "OMFG! You're playing *insert console here*. I love *insert console here*. I'm totally a gamer. I love gaming! Like, what are you playing? No, I really don't want to play, I just want to watch. I'm here to hang out. Did I mention that I loooooooooooove *insert console here*? Because I do. And I have a vagina. OMG! YAY!" That, my friends, is the real difference. Gamer girls vs. girls who game. Live it, learn it, and stop lumping all of us in the same category. I bet if you got off your high horse, you'd mob out with me, and have a great time. Also, the next guy to tell me to get back in the kitchen where I belong is getting spawn raped every single time I catch them out on COD. My place isn't in the kitchen because I have two X chromosomes. Why don't YOU get YOUR ass in the kitchen and make ME a sandwich? How y'all like me now?

Next week, we'll rant about something equally insane. Happy gaming, and reading, y'all!