28 March 2012

A Whole Lot Of Word-ful Wednesday

I'll be the first to admit, you really had me from "Hello". You were everything and more to me, and I was completely enthralled. I thought you were too cool for school, and I was more than willing to spend the rest of forever with you by my side.

You gave me my beautiful little girl, you gave me a new purpose, and then everything changed.

How it changed, when it changed, I'll never know -- but it did, and it wasn't good. Now we're at this place, and this place is scary. It's crazy, it's going to get messy, and I'm so lost as to how it happened. It's like you don't know me, almost six years later; I don't know you.

26 March 2012

Mass Effect 3: I'm In Love With You Already

For everyone in love with Shepard (or FemShep, as fans call the female version), the sleepless nights spent waiting on the release of Mass Effect 3 are almost over. From the very first scene of the very first game, it's been a romance worth all the hours logged. I've been sighing and drooling over the website for months. The demo has been out for a minute, and people are loving it. I've been scouring the internet, and picking people's brains, and I've come up with a little bit of information to share with the masses.

American Idol: Top 24 Chosen, 13th Guy To Be Announced

It's been a long and extremely boring process, but the audition phase is finally over, and we have our top 24 Idol contestants for 2012 . Whether you agree with the choices or not, they're here, and they're all going to be vying for your votes. They've also added to the drama by announcing that a 25th contestant will be added by way of a 13th male contestant. Idol is definitely reaching for the stars this year, only it's kind-of like watching the Kardashians, but slightly less ridiculous.

A Letter To Bad Drivers: This One's For You

I had some requests to do another rant, so this week, we're taking a look at bad drivers. I'm going to make it a letter so everyone can print if off, highlight the appropriate section, and hand it to anyone that you think needs to see it. Who knows, it could save some rage, a life, or just make you feel better. Awareness should never be overrated.

American Idol: Top 25 Week

This week, on American Idol, I realize that I'm wasting my time. Other than that, we see the top 13 guys and top 12 girls belting it out for a spot in the top 13 (all together). Or is it top 12? I don't know, who can actually keep up with Ryan Seacrest? Not me.

The week started off with the boys performing on Tuesday. There were some good ones, but it was mostly just annoying. I definitely kept my bottle of Excedrin Migraine open and ready on my desk. I just can't decide if the Idol judges really think some of these people can sing, or if they are all just getting older and have lost some of their hearing. I'm going with the latter, because it's the nice explanation.

My Take On Your Take On Chicks Who Game

Hi, I'm Kate, and I'm (obviously) a chick. I am a chick who games; I mean, I really game.

I don't pose half-naked with my controller for Facebook pictures and I don't play those ridiculous "take care of this baby animal" games on my hot pink DS. I don't even have a DS, truth be told; I have a first-gen PSP. I have been known to sit on a couch for days on end -- no shower, no sleep, no food -- and play KOTOR until my eyeballs were almost literally bleeding. I used to think budgeting for a new game was the most important financial decision I would make that week, and I made grown men cry as they watched me blow through Halo 2 on Legendary with no deaths and no do-overs.

Multimedia For Kids, Err, My Kid

As "Mommy" to a toddler, I'm not the world's best parent. I'm usually at a loss as to what she wants/needs, but I'm learning as I go, and trying new things every day. I know to give her home-cooked, healthy meals as often as I can, to give her a vitamin, bathe her and brush her teeth, and try not to lose my shit when she won't listen. I also know that a perfectly timed press of the "play" button on my remote will trigger complete and utter concentration in an otherwise unfocused toddler with ADD.

Are You Drawing Something?

I finally jumped on the bandwagon and downloaded Draw Something. I tried to get the paid version, but, apparently the Google Market hates me, so I had to settle for the free version. I bugged a couple of friends (who dearly love hate me) to play, and got down to business.
OHMYGOD! I can't draw. At all. In any situation. It's terrible. But this game? It's so much fun! I am mighty with my stick figures, let me tell you. I can't believe I waited so long to grab this app. It's quickly becoming my favorite game, and I've only had it for an hour or so. I am having a blast trying to draw things like an Ewok, sideburns, justice, Norway, Adele -- and most of the time, people are getting it. How, exactly, people are getting it, I will never know.

19 March 2012

To Your Unborn Children And My Already Born One

Have you seen this?

100 REAL Tweets From People Who Would Murder Their Gay Children

If you haven't, please take a moment to browse. This blog can wait.

Now, if you have Tumblr, there's a nice little image to go with it. The people that compiled the list are amazing, and I applaud them for getting this out there.

Yay Homophobes! Fucking dicks.

Isn't this nice? I wish my parents had been like this when I was born, right? Oh, wait, they were.

13 March 2012

Extreme Spousing, Impending Birthday Doom, And Plagiarism Anger 101 -- RTTR

I'm going to turn the big ol' two-five on Thursday. I feel so much older than that. I know it's not really that old, but I've been through so much in the past ten years, that it just feels like it's been twenty. I'm already getting grey hair, I've got wrinkles and saggy skin in places, and my life is far from where I thought it would be. I'm getting there, but not exactly as fast as I always dreamed I would.

With a myriad of schooling and relationships, health scares and parenting/marriage woes, it seems far more reasonable to say that I'm turning 40. I'm not, but again, it feels like I am. Also, after twenty-four consecutively atrocious birthdays, I'm awaiting a twenty-fifth. It's kind-of like when I was 21, pregnant and waiting by the phone because my fiance was deployed, and I ended up spending most of the day in my uncle's basement. You see, there were TORNADOES. ON MY BIRTHDAY. OH FUCK ME.

I hate my birthday, and not just because half of my family refers to me as "the bad luck baby":

  • Fourth grade, skating rink party, three injuries. Also, someone sneezed on my custom cake. Fucker. 
  • Ninth grade, first girlfriend dumped me because I wouldn't "come out". Well, at thirteen, I was barely old enough to understand what I was going through, much less tell my super christian friends and family that I was dating a fifteen year-old chick who couldn't kiss worth a shit. 
  • Twenty-two (or was it twenty-three), Husband decided that his friends (that really only want to be his friend when it's convenient for them) were far more important than me. I spent the whole day (and night) crying on the vacation HE wanted to take, and then when he tried to "make it up to me", he stood me up in one of the fanciest restaurants I've ever been to, and an older (and completely awesome) gay couple decided to get me wasted to forget about him and his meanness. I was in a city where I knew practically no one, in a bar where it costs half a day's pay to get a drink, alone. It was sad.
  • Last year, same thing, only this time, I was called a whore in front of my child, for no reason whatsoever, by someone old enough to know better. Also, no one remembered it was my birthday, except on Facebook, and I don't really remember much about it, because I was in class, taking a test. I aced that bitch, too. I also worked that day. Bam. Adulthood. 
And that's only a few of the many reasons I hate my birthday. Let's move on, shall we?

I've created a new extreme sport.. or television show. Whichever comes first. Just remember, you saw this HERE first, so let's give me a pat for thinking it up. I'll remember the little people when I'm accepting a shitty daytime television award.

EXTREME SPOUSING! ::cues crazy gruff voice and "extreme" musical score::

It's where you and your spouse seem to have the most EXTREME.. ly hardcore arguments over completely asinine issues that should really be deemed "moot".. ALL OF THE TIMES. Like, television volume while people who work third shift in the house are sleeping, and you're trying to work, and SHIT IS GETTING REAL. Or, like putting in job applications, holding up a part of a pretty important agreement, etc.

Instead of getting pissed and using your big growed-up words, like civilized normal couples, you can come on my show, or whoever decides to pick it up, and go at LEAST Super Saiyan 3 on each other. It's fun and entertainment for the audience, gets out pent-up aggression out for the couple, and it's easier than therapy.

I need this show to start NOW. Like, RIGHT NOW. I'm not too proud to admit that, like most young-ish couples who started out their relationship under difficult circumstances, we fight. A lot. A whole fucking lot. It's getting tiresome, with both parties feeling drained and defeated at the end of the day. I am an adult, but sometimes, I fight like a stupid teen. I married someone who's every inch an alpha personality, like myself, so we know exactly what buttons to push to get each other to act completely stupid.

It would be fun to beat the shit out of him with a giant Q-Tip, but that's neither here nor there.

Moving on again.. Whooooosh!

The interweb.. it's a funny place, right? Last week, we talked about the crazy antics ensuing over there at that Chrysler Blogger Face-off thing. This week, we tune in and learn that the same party responsible has been called-out for plagiarism. Age, and pregnancy, are used as an excuse for said stealing, and it makes me really, REALLY, fucking crazy-mad.

I'm about to be twenty-five, which means I'm TWO years YOUNGER than her. I've never stolen someone else's work. I learned at an early age just how detrimental that can be. I've been falsely accused of stealing someone's printed off the internet article to use for an assignment, and that was bad enough. Thanks to her bad day, I had a big ol' fat dose of Saturday School, and a large stain on my record. It was expunged, but still. It's a serious issue, that there stealing thing.

I know better, and I'm ashamed to be lumped into a now pretty general class of "age equals stupidity" and "excuses, excuses". I have somehow managed to come up with my own shit, pregnant or not, young or not, for years. It's not easy, and it's especially difficult to make something your own in the digital age. Everyone has already said everything there is to say. Which makes and breaks a good blogger/writer. It makes ME better, personally, and quite obviously it has broken her. Quit instead of stealing. You'll get more respect.

If it's your JOB to write, whether you're good at it or not, you should at least make an effort to be original. Now, with that being said, I would like to clear the air. Not all twenty-something bloggers are a disgrace. There are just a few out there, that think they're invincible. I'm sorry on their behalf, and I hope that those of us that are honest and love what we do aren't going to end up with faces full of mud from this fiasco.

I have had my fair share of stealing and copying in my graphics business. I've even had to go as far as to get a cease and desist against a large corporation for stealing a damn Christmas card design when a customer decided to go with them, rather than the local business that I normally referred all my clients to for printing. She did so to save a few bucks, but it cost me my salary for a month and a lot of time and clients. Thanks for that, again. You know who you are. I know you're reading this. I should've billed you the five grand I shelled out/lost because of you.

Just CITE. Please. Cite, give credit, whatever it takes. It doesn't take any more time than going somewhere and stealing the work. I have done it a thousand times. If you've ever written a research paper, you should know all about proper citation, and several of the accepted methods of doing so.

The blog posts and websites I read and referenced to (about both crazy issues) will be listed at the end of this post. There is the actual Chrysler contest page, the awesome Avitable's blog where he defends and explains the mess to perfection, and the post over at the wonderful Amalah site that explains the thievery.

Now, I know this is incoherent at best, and scattered, but it's RANDOM TUESDAY. Also, family is driving me insane today, and I'm having trouble remembering what I want to write for work, much less this blog post. There. Excuses. I'm using them. It's my right as a YOUNG BLOGGER PARENT, right? See what I did there? LULZ of the day for me.

Head on over to Stacy's awesome blog to link up to the randomness this Tuesday. Happy reading, y'all!

Amalah's Blog Post
Avitable's Awesome Blog Post
The Start of the Chrysler/Ignite SM Fiasco

There were others, but we all know Kristine, from Wait In The Van, and I'm not even giving the actual blog in question the time of day. Views only keep her in paid gigs, and it's sad. So very, very sad.

11 March 2012

Home Run Inn Frozen Pizzas: A Review*

Since I joined this whole Klout mess to get free stuff, I've received several perks that I enjoyed. An awesome screen cleaner, several early-access codes to start ups that I can check out and use before the hype, several codes to websites (hey free money!), etc. It's been a generally interesting experience, though them telling me I earned a perk AFTER it's full isn't cool, I'm just sayin'.

I got the Home Run Inn frozen pizza perk, and was stoked. A free meal for my ridiculously hungry family. Score. I'm broke, so this was like a gift from the heavens above. The pack came, and inside was a folder FULL of information on the company, the coupons for two free pizzas of my choosing, and a really awesome pizza cutter.

I LOVE the pizza cutter. I got the pack about a month and a half ago, and I've used it over every other one in the house. It's also really amazing (to me AND everyone else in the house) that you can take it apart and get it completely clean.

We finally got around to getting the pizzas yesterday. We were told that they were only sold in our area at Ingles and Publix. Publix is hours away, and Ingles is farther than I care to drive, even for free pizza. And then, what a crazy, random happenstance! We found them at the local Bi-Lo. The variety was limited, but the two family favs were there, so we grabbed a Classic Pepperoni and a Classic Cheese.

When I opened the package, I was a bit confused, to be totally honest. The cheese has already been baked.. I was completely skeptical that twice-baked cheese would be any good. I popped them in, cooked them, and tossed a salad on the table. Supper time! Ding ding!

We all sat down, and the adults (because my toddler could care less what it tastes like, as long as it's pizza) went to tasting. I love that my family will pretty much do anything I ask them to when I tell them it's for my blog.

Here are the reviews of four normal people (who usually either eat homemade pizzas, or the cheapest frozen one I can find that doesn't look like cardboard. It all depends on time and how broke I am that paycheck.):

  • Now, my husband is a completely picky eater. He was raised on fast food, and anything that comes in a package. He loved it. He said it reminded him of Johnny's Pizza, which is based out of select cities in Louisiana. He didn't care for the pepperoni, because it's bland. I think he's just so used to processed pepperoni, that he has no idea what uncured slices taste like. He said he would prefer it over every other frozen pizza AND Pizza Hut, Papa John's, and Domino's (Is that how you spell it? Whatever.). HRI has scored a fan with him, and that's not easy.

  • My Mom likes it. She likes the crust, and the fact that the cheese tasted like black olives on certain parts of the pepperoni pizza. It's not her favourite brand, and she definitely wouldn't pay $7-$9 for one, but she said it was really good. 

  • Kiddo was just happy to have pizza, but she seemed to eat the crust without as much fuss. That's always nice.

  • My opinion is a little more critical, because I'M JUST LIKE THAT, OKAY?! I found it off-putting that parts of the pepperoni pizza's cheese tasted like canned black olives. I'm not a fan of them at all. The sauce was a little sweet for my taste, because I like spicier marinas. The cheese pizza was okay, but I'm not into the twice-baked cheese. It was really chewy, and lost a lot of it's flavour. The crust was probably the only thing I liked about it, and to be honest, I've had better wheat crust. I know that it's probably a great pizza when you get it fresh from the actual franchise, and maybe another variety would've suited me better, but even though it's a frozen pizza, I was left lacking. So much so, that I took a couple of bites of each kind, and was more content to eat my salad. I hate to be overly-critical, but that's my honest opinion of it. Three outta four ain't bad, right? I definitely wouldn't spend the money to buy THIS particular pizza. I will be sticking with the same old, same old. If they happen to have them on sale, I would probably buy them so the rest of my family could have them, but I'd be sticking with the rabbit food I throw on the table to make myself feel like less of a crappy parent.

So, that's that. Two pizzas, total value $15.98 normally(sans tax), on sale this week for $11.98(again, tax not included, mostly because I'm lazy), and with the coupons provided, free.

Also, I don't agree with Huband. They taste nothing like Johnny's.

*I was given a free product or sample because I'm a Klout influencer. I was under no obligation to receive the sample or talk about this company. I get no additional benefits for talking about the product or company.

06 March 2012

Too Much Coffee, People Who Skipped Grammar In School, And Cyber Stupidity -- RTTR

I've been hard at work lately, doing research and reading tons of resumes. By research, I mean playing the shit out of Fable III, Halo Reach, and Halo ODST. Throwback to some great games wut?! Yes. I have an awesome friend who let me borrow his old school first gen 360, and I'm banging out an article that's going to take a lot of patience to write.

Also, if anyone wants to donate to the game fun, I'll give you my paypal. I'm spending all my money on bills and coffee these days, and I can't afford the ridiculous prices for games.. they used to be necessities, but then I had a family and a kid and responsibilities. OMFG. WHEN DID I GROW UP? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! ::shakes fist angrily towards the sky::

Speaking of coffee, I'm up to a $30/week budget for that shit. It's insane. I'm killing my insides. It's totally cool, though, because I enjoy killing my organs with black gold. Well, more like, caramel gold.. I like coffee creamer and sugar in my coffee.

I've had this stupid hair stuck in my eye for FOUR FUCKING DAYS NOW. It's not cool. My eyeball is raw. How does that even work?! It just does. There's your answer. It's in that unreachable top crease, and it's driving me insane. Not that I really need any help, but it's a helpful motherfucker. Touche, hair stuck in my eye, touche. I don't know how to make the little accent thing on the top of the "e", so get over it already.

I hate to call-out bad grammar (well, not really, but this time I kind-of do.. maybe.. probably not. Whatevs.), but I have to say this to everyone that wants to be a writer:

Everyone makes mistakes. It's learning to correct your mistakes, and better yourself that makes you a good writer. When you balk at the notion, it tells me you're not a writer, you're simply someone who wants to seem deep and interesting. Get a beret, or something, but please don't harp on how awesome your shit is. When you can't even discern the STARK difference in "your" and "you're", and you make no never mind about it, it annoys me.

If your resume has more grammatical errors than a kindergartner's poetry, you look like an idiot. If your blog posts are so incoherent that I can't even grasp the topic you've chosen to write about, you look completely incompetent. I'm not going to give you the time of day.

I know I'm not perfect, but I choose to use ellipses like they're going out of style. I know the right and wrong way to use commas, but sometimes, I choose to splice shit up FOR THE EFFECT. Like, how it would sound if I said it. SO THERE. FUCK YOU. CAPS!

This week, I'm ashamed to own a Chrysler vehicle. One of my most favourite people on the interwebz was in a contest, and was banging out the hilarity in her quest for votes. I enjoyed her not taking herself so seriously, and having fun with the process.

She got disqualified. Another contestant got upset that she was losing (because obvs she's internet famous and awesome, but OMFG EVERYONE IS MISSING IT WHAT DO I DO?!), and lost her sense of humor. She set her husband loose on the Twitterverse, and he said some pretty nasty things to this awesome lady that was just trying to have fun, as well as some of her interweb supporters/friends.


She the decided to write a completely terrible blog post about said person, slandering and bullying her. She set her "fans" after her and her readers, and she made all kinds of false accusations. This, in itself, was enough to make me pretty peeved, I'm not going to lie.

THEN! as if this wasn't enough! she contacted Chrysler and made a big stink, leaving out all the nasty things on her side that weren't all in good fun and humor, and Chrysler. backed. her. up. y'all.

Chrysler promotes cyber bullying. I say that with complete conviction. I know what's right, and what's completely wrong, and I also know THAT I AM A REAL PERSON AND SO ARE MY FRIENDS AND YOU CAN SUCK A NUT! I don't make friendly-time with proxy servers and cheaters, because I only make friends with people who can hug it the fuck out.

When has a proxy server or a cheater ever had the capability to give a fucking AMAZING hug? Nevah!

What I'm really saying here, through all my weird hilarity, is that the real bully is the man who threatens a woman, or anyone else, on the internet. The bully and the cheater isn't the person who made jokes and did what she always does, it was the person who stooped to petty and childish tactics.

I have been internet harassed, and it was awful. It made me a wreck, and hurt more than I can describe. It wasn't over a contest, it was over something that happened in the realz, but it was carried to the internet, and I was threatened, my child was harmed, and my husband's career was threatened. It was the worst time of my life, and it's still going on, because petty fucking people have nothing better to do with their time.

I've learned to let it go, but it still hurts. It's still wrong, and to see a power company ENDORSE THE SHIT pisses me off to no end. Like, pisses me off more than when my husband decides to be a fucking dick all day and treat me like I'm an idiot because I have a vag. That, my friendly readers, is a whole fucking lot.

I voted for her, because her contributions were awesome, and so is she. I didn't cheat, I didn't vote for the stupid iPad 2 (that CHRYSLER was BLATANTLY using for incentive votes), or the cookies (which WERE JUST A FUCKING JOKE OMFG), or for any other reason than I loved her shit, so. hard., and I love reading her blog, also so. hard.

So, there. Fuckity-fuck-fucker. Now I think I have it off my chest, I'm going to shit-talk my Jeep because ITS PARENT IS RIDICULOUS. It should've been adopted. I'm just glad I didn't buy it from a dealer, because technically I didn't pay them for it. I paid the dude who did a craptastic job of restoring it.

This, my friends, ends Random Tuesday Thoughts. It has a whole 'lotta rebellion in it. Enjoy the rest of your week, awesome people, and remember to head on over to Stacy's awesome blog and link up to the fun.

I'm not adding the linky thing today, mostly because I'm lazy as shit, but also it's over there -----> on the side of my blog. Have fun, and rebel on!


So, there's this guy, and he's pretty much fucking awesome. He wrote this blog post about all the Chrysler Blogger Face-Off shit, and it's perfection.

Go HERE, and enjoy.

Also, I realize that it was Ignite Social Media that made the wrong decision, but CHRYSLER BACKED THEM UP. Obviously. The shit is still going on.