That Time I Hit The Life Lottery

So THIS happened, and I've since gone on to bigger and better things. I've still yet to do all the other shit I'm supposed to do for my grandmother, but I'm assuming I'll start on that today.

"Other shit" is just a nice way to put "scrub her entire house clean from top to bottom and get myself a pat on the head." Oh, and stuff from the garden. And sometimes a little cash. Both are awesome.

The Lincoln is a pretty true-to-life image...

Why I'll Never Go Shopping Again

Yesterday sucked. The levels of fail cannot be measured or described. Here are some highlights from the worst. day. ever. for your reading pleasure, because sharing is therapy.. caring.. whatever.

You Drive Me Crazy

So, as I've probably neglected to mention in my blogging absence, my daughter turned four on Mother's Day.

Since that day, my life has gone from standard to OHMYFUCKINGGAWDSOMEONEGIVEMEAXANAXNOW. It's starting to get to me.

I'm Still Alive.. I Think.

I could possibly be dead, or in a coma.. who knows?

Is this all just a really bad dream? Nope. I'm still here. I've just been taking some time off to do a lot of shit that I probably should'nt have.

Don't you love it when that happens?

So, let's recap the last couple of months, shall we?

Why I Suck At Blogging

Probably because I have two pillow pets.. that my kid isn't allowed to touch. SHE HAS HER OWN STOP JUDGING ME!

I forget to do it. A lot.