Neglect: My Blog Has It

I haven't posted a real, honest-to-god blog in, oh, forever. Well, more like forever, three weeks, and two days. I figure I should probably start doing things right again so I will stop having conversations with my cat and randomly bursting into tears in the shower...

Stop being all judge-y. I feel you being judge-y. It makes me itch.

Here's the slim of what I've been up to for the better part of a year and some days. Enjoy.

1. Living in Louisiana is probably one of the worst fucking things to ever happen to me in the history of fucking ever. I'm so not kidding. Aside from amazing friends, that's about all I got out of that experience. My marriage almost failed, my in-laws pretty much made me want to befriend the Mississippi River.. from the bridge.. like, I wanted to face-plant into it from the fucking bridge. Oh, and did I mention it was so awful that I wanted to punch baby seals with my fist? Because I did. A lot. Because is sucked. Immensely.

2. I finished school and couldn't get a job because, yay, the hospital chucked my paperwork into the garbage. This fact, coupled with the fact that the job market in the area we were living in was complete bullshit, made me even more down and depress-y. I was already down because of the fact that I lived in the gooch of the world; let's add on a really crap-tastic healthcare system and failing local economy. Thanks, universe. Fuck you very much.

3. I decided to move, and, thankfully, my amazing husband was supportive and decided after finishing up the jobs he was already contracted out to do, he would follow me into the great known of my home state/town. So far, so good. I love living here. My kid loves living here. My husband is so stoked to live here in the next two weeks. We're those retarded happy people that I usually make fun of now only we're broke.

4. Moving really helped everything, to be honest. My marriage is better than ever, my kid is happier and healthier than she's been since we moved from here the first time, my Mom is healthier and happier having me as her slave, err, I mean having me close-at-hand... under her roof... no, this doesn't bother me in the least because I have the coolest fucking Mom ever, and living with her is pretty much like living with a bad-ass, older version of me.. and taller... and dorkier... but still.

5. I really don't have a 5, but I am extremely OCD, and I really like odd numbers. Especially when they're multiples of 5. They make-ah me happy...ah. Whatever.


So, in conclusion, here's what we should be taking away from this post. In multiples of 5. Again. Redundancy FTW!:

-I hate the entire state of Louisiana and most of Mississippi. Fuck those places.
-I moved. Georgia = my favourite place to live.. and stuff.
-I like Ass-hat more than I've liked him since the three month mark of our coexistence as married people.
-I have a really awesome kid who's really fucking awesome.. also, My Mom is tall.
-I like odd numbers and multiples of 5.


Thanks.

I Amaze People With Myself

Yeah, I totally am. I'm 23, almost 24, and I'm sleeping on a loveseat. And I'm cold. And I have no blanket. And I have TB in my arm.

Moving on...

I started school this week. It's a bitch. I've still yet to regain feeling in my right index finger. So. many. notes. ohmygod. I thought real college was rough until I became a student at a Vo-Tech school. I now realize that my college days were a breeze and everything I ever did there was magical and wonderful and so much fun. My professors were amazing, my friends rocked, and my living situation did not include in-laws or parents or anyone else like that.
I had to get a TB scratch test done. It always sucks, but what can you do? I guess I could not do it and waste the money I've put into school and quit. Quitting is for losers, though, and I am most definitely not a loser. I'm super fucking awesome and you should be very happy about that fact.

I took some pretty cool pictures today of Melodrama and my friend's dog, Muffin-top. We're going to call her Muffin-top because everyone else in my blog has a code name so the dog gets one, too, and we're also going to give the friend one since everyone else got one and she gets Rage. You know, because she has horrible road rage. Especially in Natchez. Definitely in Natchez.

So Rage and I were talking about something completely random the other night on the way home from class and we decided to call our men folk, Ass-band and Walter (I really hope he never sees that I've decided to call him that), and it was all good and great while we were laughing and listening to the phone ring and whatnot... until they answered and we said hey and magically my phone unpaired from the car and died.

......

The phone has yet to be seen again. I think someone stole it and since we were sitting in traffic with other people from the same class it could still link to the car and when we drove away it lost that ability. And I realized it was gone. Which sucks ass because now I have no phone. Epic. fail.

*ahem*

After blowing me off because I'm boring and a bitch, Ass-band did something nice for me this evening. I was rather shocked but, hell, I'm not complaining. He brought me a huge salad and a drink and actually told me goodnight instead of grumbling about my computer light and my studying in bed and falling asleep with his ass on my leg and farting. Loudly. I was happy.



Until I realized that Rage and Walter snore, and Muffin-top is having whiny puppy dreams. And then there's the fan..s...

Did I mention I'm freezing to death?

Isn't she lovely?

Muffin-top is hella awesome.

Did I happen to mention I'm going bald? Oh yes I am.