Bad TV, Awkward Situations, Gas Stations, And A Jeep With A Grudge -- RTTR

At this moment in time, I'm procrastinating work, because I feel like crap. I've had a perpetual cold for a month now. It's driving me insane. It's cold outside, and supposedly it's hot in the house. I feel like I'm chilling in Greenland, though, and I can't breathe out of my nose. I figured I'd actually post my Tuesday blog a little earlier than Tuesday night, almost Wednesday. Sounded like a good plan at the time, but now I'm stuck watching The Voice. Wow. This is worse than Idol, but with better judges fights. Well, mentors? What do you call them?  Button Guardians?  Whatever.. this is bad. And I'm kind-of mad that I can't just watch something I DVR'd last week and never got around to.

My gorgeous Jeep is running again. And since Husband decided to drive it to work today, he has to put gas in it. BAM! I dodged the bullet on that one. It took me an hour, but she's not parked anymore, and that makes me happy. Now if I could just convince Husband to sell his crappy car in favor of something he can actually use, we'd be set.

I went to the gas station yesterday, and I wore my awesome RAVN shirt. It got a couple of app downloads for the dudes behind the badassery, and I ended up ruining my workout jacket. Also, they were out of Dr. Pepper. WHO DOES THAT?! I was sad panda for sure.

So, I know I'm awkward, but sometimes, the situations I find myself in, are too awkward to be all me. Does that make sense? I found myself trying to explain bootstrapping and Venture Capitalists to my Mom, and the ensuing conversation was just.. I don't know.. confusing at best?


And I just watched big momma almost take Carson Daly down. My life is complete. Totally just messed up my train of thought. I'm done for this Tuesday. Tune in next week for, hopefully, a more exciting post. With less Button Guardians.

Omg. Country music is singing stories? I thought it was singing A STORY, over and over.. okay, for real, I'm done. Stupid show.

Head on over to Stacy's, grab a button, and link to the fun. Rebellion is best served with an awkward blog post that makes no sense, didn't you know?

Look Mother, I'm Falling: A Piece of A Whole

Please remember that everything I post that I've written sans poetry are only pieces of a larger work.

If you get lost, it's okay... they're also the unedited versions... deal with it.

... Look Mother, I'm falling.

Deeper and deeper into this hollow of a black hole.

This expanse of nothingness.

I can feel the darkness consume me.

There is no room for life.

For light.

No need.

It is serene now in this no where place.

The dark is so cool...

I may never recover.

I may never return...

The abyss may become my home.

I may never see life again.

I may never feel light kiss my skin.

There is no need.

For I am left with nothing.

This hollow...

Is so real.

So very vibrant in its darkness...

My heart...

or something like that...

Who fucking knows?

Maybe I am crazy.

Maybe they're right.

Maybe SHE'S right...

Mommy dearest may be correct in assuming I have lost it.

Fucking bitch.

She has no clue.

It's Wednesday.

He hasn't called since Friday.

He's trying to kill me, you know...

I saw him.

Watching me, waiting for his chance, stalking my eyes to see when I would look away...

He thinks I am crazy.

He thinks I love him.

What does he know?

Fucking prick.

Mommy dearest may be right.

I may have lost it...

I should dye my hair.

Cut it.

Cut myself...

I need to do something. I need to change somehow... I am so tired of how I look now. Too thin.

Too thin...

Too fat.

Too brunette.

I think I should cook something with chicken for a nice dinner.

I think I should invite him, even though he hasn't called.

Fucking bastard.

He's trying to kill me, you know...

I told my shrink.

He thinks I have lost it.

What does he know?

He's so one dimensional.

He doesn't ever think I could be right.

I think I love him.

He's good to me.

He gets paid to be good to me.

Sunday I will do the crossword.

I will have bagels.

I will have lots and lots of juice.

Not orange.

Orange juice is the government's way of brainwashing...

They do that so they get you when you're young and stupid and will drink it because that's what you're supposed to do.

I still think he's trying to kill me.