So, I'm in Louisiana.
It still sucks.
I haven't had internet. At all. OMFG. My truck needs a new right ass cheek, my kid has Strep, and I'm working on salvaging my marriage.
Also, rescued a kitten. Go me.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
19 March 2012
To Your Unborn Children And My Already Born One
Have you seen this?
100 REAL Tweets From People Who Would Murder Their Gay Children
If you haven't, please take a moment to browse. This blog can wait.
Now, if you have Tumblr, there's a nice little image to go with it. The people that compiled the list are amazing, and I applaud them for getting this out there.
Isn't this nice? I wish my parents had been like this when I was born, right? Oh, wait, they were.
100 REAL Tweets From People Who Would Murder Their Gay Children
If you haven't, please take a moment to browse. This blog can wait.
Now, if you have Tumblr, there's a nice little image to go with it. The people that compiled the list are amazing, and I applaud them for getting this out there.
 |
| Yay Homophobes! Fucking dicks. |
Isn't this nice? I wish my parents had been like this when I was born, right? Oh, wait, they were.
26 January 2012
I Don't Like Your Dress, But I Did The First Time I Saw It
I've been to so many weddings in the past 5 years that I can't even count them anymore. I'm at that age where everyone is getting married, and most of them are doing it big.
Big or small, they've all had one thing in common: The dress. That dress up there, to be exact. Same colours, same dress, almost the exact same veil, and the same bridesmaid dresses to match.
My wedding wasn't big, and I didn't have a dress. Hell, I hadn't even washed my hair yet that day. We got married when Husband got a few minutes off his shift, in a tiny room up a dirty staircase in downtown Waikiki. Hooray Military weddings! We got there just in time to wait in a growing line, and got out of there just in time to make it to the closest McDonald's to grab his lunch. I wore a gorgeous jean skirt by Aeropostale, a tank top from Hollister, and a great custom jacket from Cafepress. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.
No, it wasn't the most fancy wedding, nor the most traditional, but it was mine. It was unique and special. I'm pretty sure no one else in the history of ever will have my "dress" because that jacket? It was one-of-a-kind. That makes me feel pretty okay with skipping the white dress and the reception.
Before you go bitching at me, let me explain my disdain for this dress so maybe you can understand where I'm coming from.
If I had worn a dress, and if I had had a wedding that was all match-y and decorated, I would've gone for something that was original. I don't want to look back at my wedding pictures and notice that ALL MY FRIENDS had the exact same dress and colours as I did. That would make me feel weird. We don't match on a daily basis, why would we want to match on the most wonderful day of our lives?
Isn't anyone noticing that for every ten weddings they go to, they're going to nine carbon copies, including their own? Doesn't that bother anyone? There are a thousand dresses with pickup skirts and satin fabric and sashes in millions of colours. Do you all have to wear the exact same one, with the exact same shade of red?
And, for the record, it's kind-of crappy to make your friends lie to you. When you ask me "Don't you just totally LOVE my dress?!", from now on, I'm going to tell you no. I'm sorry, but if I tell another person I do, I'm going to hang myself from my own tongue. I shouldn't have to lie. At this point in time, if I saw the ugliest dress ever made, and it was on my friend, and they asked me how I like it, if it was different than that dress up there, I would think it was the most amazing piece of shit ever. Because, despite the trends, they went with a dress that was unique and fit their personality.
That dress up there? It's not for everyone. I've seen a lot of weddings where the dress looked awful and the bride looked just miserable in it. However, her friends? They loved it. You could tell they were the ones who picked it out. They see the trends, and they make decisions based on what's hot, not what's special. I've even seen this dress recreated into bridesmaid dresses or prom gowns.
YOU'RE TAKING IT WAY TOO FAR, PEOPLE! OMHMYGOD!
When you try on a dress and you're standing up on that platform, staring into the mirrors, turning and twirling, don't look at the dress like a fashion statement. Please, for the love of all your photos and memories, look at that dress like it's an expression of yourself; like that dress is going to be on you forever and it's the last thing you'll ever put on. Would you want to look just like everyone else for the rest of your life?
Probably not.
I realize I sound awfully mean, and full of hate. I am full of hate.. for that dress. I sat here for a few minutes and tallied up the times I've either seen it in person, or seen someone's wedding pictures, and the count comes to 140. Yes, I'm completely serious. And the saddest part? at least 90% of those times, the girls know each other.
I liked the dress the first time I saw it; I liked the red pop in the sea of black and white. Now? I wish someone would've picked blue, green, pink, yellow, orange, cream, grey -- SOMETHING DIFFERENT. How about some gunmetal grey? What if you go with some deep purples and blues? Have some bright pink?
Anything? Anyone?
Whatevs, it's your wedding. I would suggest making it actually your wedding, but if you want me to come and say how much I love your dress, or the colours you chose, don't expect me to go crazy for something I've seen before -- so many times I'm just plain sick of it.
Where's the open bar? I need enough tequila in me to not rant on-stage about your cookie cutter wedding.
22 January 2012
Some Things To Ponder At The Close of Another Week
I had the best conversation with Husband last night. It made me tear-up a little, and boy did I need to hear the things he told me right about then.
I was whining about student loans and the ridiculous price of higher education, and he stopped me in my tracks. He reminded me that I've already got a lot of school under my belt, and if this was what I really wanted, he would do whatever it took to support me and make it happen no matter the cost or struggle -- but if I wanted to just keep doing what I was doing, that was fine too. I told him I was tired of feeling like I'm not contributing enough, and again, he stopped me.
He reminded me that I cook, clean, run errands, pay bills, and make sure the laundry is done for everyone in the house; I administer care and love when needed and make sure everyone is doing what they need to do, when they need to do it; I take care of the little things so no one else has anything to worry about once they're off-the-clock and ready to enjoy some down time; I love and nurture and educate our daughter, and I work my ass off to make something of myself when most people are content to just be blips on the radar. He said he never gave me the credit I deserve, and he was wrong; he never appreciated all I do for not only him, but our daughter, our families, and our friends.
It really threw me for a loop, because admittedly, throughout the "problem years" of our marriage, one of his biggest complaints was that "You think making doodles on the internet is a job?". It always hurt me, because at one point, my "doodles" were paying half of the bills and ALL of the luxuries we enjoyed. I was bringing in over $7k/mo and working 20/hrs a day -- the other four were spent catching up on all the things I didn't get accomplished throughout the day. I slept only when I was sick or delirious, and sometimes I skipped it then (I remember trying to have a conference call laying in the ER with an IV and having the nurses take my phone away because "You can't talk on the phone and get a CT Scan, Mrs. G."). I felt like if that wasn't good enough, nothing I ever did would be good enough.
He used to regulate me when I would get mad at him for no reason out of frustration, stress, and exhaustion. For about a week here and there, he would be Superman. He would make me eat, sleep, and take breaks from work. He would help out with the house and the errands and the kiddo so I could catch a break and relax. There was a point in my career as a WAHM that I had gone over a week without a shower, because I never had the extra time to worry about it. I was too busy doing everything else. He never complained, he just took kiddo for a very long walk around the lake so I could take a shower and have a minute to gather myself. I spent four hours just sitting outside enjoying the warm summer night. I had missed almost every single one since they started. They started in April, and it was the end of July.
But, for the most part, he hated what I did and felt like I wasn't doing enough to help out. He felt like I was just meandering through life, waiting on him to support me so I could dick around on the internet all day. He left everything up to me, and played FFXI like it was his second job. I wasn't feeling appreciated, and we fought constantly because neither one of us were standing behind each other anymore.
He was always my support system. When he got sick, something changed, and it didn't un-change when he was better. I think he just needed some time to live life the way he wanted, but he wasn't exactly "footloose and fancy-free". He had a family to support and a military career in full-bloom. He had people depending on him, and when the military decided to let him go, we moved and he was even more lost. It wasn't exactly the greatest start to our lives, and we had a LOT of huge bumps in the road, but we made do. It was definitely hard, and we definitely almost gave up countless times.
But we didn't. We stuck it out, never giving up, fighting every step of the way. That's the true test of a marriage -- love, COMMITMENT, dedication. Just because the going got tough, we didn't make the choice to abandon everything we had to make things "easier".
Hearing his love and support last night got me thinking about everything we've been through, and where we are today. I'm thankful that he is my "rock" again. I couldn't do what I do without him backing me up. I missed his ever-present enthusiasm for my work and his understanding that it's my dedication that makes it so good. Without support, no one will succeed. There is always a need to hear "You're doing the right thing." and "This is worth it, keep going.".
We both have some pretty big dreams and some pretty big plans. We're going to work together and support each other until they're achieved. That's not something to take for granted, that's for sure. He wants to work towards owning his own business, and I want to get mine back to where it used to be. I want to take on the world and continue to write and love every minute of it; he wants to buy up rental properties and open his own construction company.
These aren't things that are going to come to fruition without ups and downs, but it's nice to know that we won't have to go for them while butting heads and throwing blame. I'm going to make a go at school, and if we just can't do it right now, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing -- only this time, it's going to be done knowing that I have his support. I'll know that no matter what, he believes in what I'm doing and is thankful for my contribution to this family.
I was whining about student loans and the ridiculous price of higher education, and he stopped me in my tracks. He reminded me that I've already got a lot of school under my belt, and if this was what I really wanted, he would do whatever it took to support me and make it happen no matter the cost or struggle -- but if I wanted to just keep doing what I was doing, that was fine too. I told him I was tired of feeling like I'm not contributing enough, and again, he stopped me.
He reminded me that I cook, clean, run errands, pay bills, and make sure the laundry is done for everyone in the house; I administer care and love when needed and make sure everyone is doing what they need to do, when they need to do it; I take care of the little things so no one else has anything to worry about once they're off-the-clock and ready to enjoy some down time; I love and nurture and educate our daughter, and I work my ass off to make something of myself when most people are content to just be blips on the radar. He said he never gave me the credit I deserve, and he was wrong; he never appreciated all I do for not only him, but our daughter, our families, and our friends.
It really threw me for a loop, because admittedly, throughout the "problem years" of our marriage, one of his biggest complaints was that "You think making doodles on the internet is a job?". It always hurt me, because at one point, my "doodles" were paying half of the bills and ALL of the luxuries we enjoyed. I was bringing in over $7k/mo and working 20/hrs a day -- the other four were spent catching up on all the things I didn't get accomplished throughout the day. I slept only when I was sick or delirious, and sometimes I skipped it then (I remember trying to have a conference call laying in the ER with an IV and having the nurses take my phone away because "You can't talk on the phone and get a CT Scan, Mrs. G."). I felt like if that wasn't good enough, nothing I ever did would be good enough.
He used to regulate me when I would get mad at him for no reason out of frustration, stress, and exhaustion. For about a week here and there, he would be Superman. He would make me eat, sleep, and take breaks from work. He would help out with the house and the errands and the kiddo so I could catch a break and relax. There was a point in my career as a WAHM that I had gone over a week without a shower, because I never had the extra time to worry about it. I was too busy doing everything else. He never complained, he just took kiddo for a very long walk around the lake so I could take a shower and have a minute to gather myself. I spent four hours just sitting outside enjoying the warm summer night. I had missed almost every single one since they started. They started in April, and it was the end of July.
But, for the most part, he hated what I did and felt like I wasn't doing enough to help out. He felt like I was just meandering through life, waiting on him to support me so I could dick around on the internet all day. He left everything up to me, and played FFXI like it was his second job. I wasn't feeling appreciated, and we fought constantly because neither one of us were standing behind each other anymore.
He was always my support system. When he got sick, something changed, and it didn't un-change when he was better. I think he just needed some time to live life the way he wanted, but he wasn't exactly "footloose and fancy-free". He had a family to support and a military career in full-bloom. He had people depending on him, and when the military decided to let him go, we moved and he was even more lost. It wasn't exactly the greatest start to our lives, and we had a LOT of huge bumps in the road, but we made do. It was definitely hard, and we definitely almost gave up countless times.
But we didn't. We stuck it out, never giving up, fighting every step of the way. That's the true test of a marriage -- love, COMMITMENT, dedication. Just because the going got tough, we didn't make the choice to abandon everything we had to make things "easier".
Hearing his love and support last night got me thinking about everything we've been through, and where we are today. I'm thankful that he is my "rock" again. I couldn't do what I do without him backing me up. I missed his ever-present enthusiasm for my work and his understanding that it's my dedication that makes it so good. Without support, no one will succeed. There is always a need to hear "You're doing the right thing." and "This is worth it, keep going.".
We both have some pretty big dreams and some pretty big plans. We're going to work together and support each other until they're achieved. That's not something to take for granted, that's for sure. He wants to work towards owning his own business, and I want to get mine back to where it used to be. I want to take on the world and continue to write and love every minute of it; he wants to buy up rental properties and open his own construction company.
These aren't things that are going to come to fruition without ups and downs, but it's nice to know that we won't have to go for them while butting heads and throwing blame. I'm going to make a go at school, and if we just can't do it right now, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing -- only this time, it's going to be done knowing that I have his support. I'll know that no matter what, he believes in what I'm doing and is thankful for my contribution to this family.
04 January 2012
Neglect: My Blog Has It
I haven't posted a real, honest-to-god blog in, oh, forever. Well, more like forever, three weeks, and two days. I figure I should probably start doing things right again so I will stop having conversations with my cat and randomly bursting into tears in the shower...
Stop being all judge-y. I feel you being judge-y. It makes me itch.
Here's the slim of what I've been up to for the better part of a year and some days. Enjoy.
1. Living in Louisiana is probably one of the worst fucking things to ever happen to me in the history of fucking ever. I'm so not kidding. Aside from amazing friends, that's about all I got out of that experience. My marriage almost failed, my in-laws pretty much made me want to befriend the Mississippi River.. from the bridge.. like, I wanted to face-plant into it from the fucking bridge. Oh, and did I mention it was so awful that I wanted to punch baby seals with my fist? Because I did. A lot. Because is sucked. Immensely.
2. I finished school and couldn't get a job because, yay, the hospital chucked my paperwork into the garbage. This fact, coupled with the fact that the job market in the area we were living in was complete bullshit, made me even more down and depress-y. I was already down because of the fact that I lived in the gooch of the world; let's add on a really crap-tastic healthcare system and failing local economy. Thanks, universe. Fuck you very much.
3. I decided to move, and, thankfully, my amazing husband was supportive and decided after finishing up the jobs he was already contracted out to do, he would follow me into the great known of my home state/town. So far, so good. I love living here. My kid loves living here. My husband is so stoked to live here in the next two weeks. We're those retarded happy people that I usually make fun of now only we're broke.
4. Moving really helped everything, to be honest. My marriage is better than ever, my kid is happier and healthier than she's been since we moved from here the first time, my Mom is healthier and happier having me as her slave, err, I mean having me close-at-hand... under her roof... no, this doesn't bother me in the least because I have the coolest fucking Mom ever, and living with her is pretty much like living with a bad-ass, older version of me.. and taller... and dorkier... but still.
5. I really don't have a 5, but I am extremely OCD, and I really like odd numbers. Especially when they're multiples of 5. They make-ah me happy...ah. Whatever.
So, in conclusion, here's what we should be taking away from this post. In multiples of 5. Again. Redundancy FTW!:
-I hate the entire state of Louisiana and most of Mississippi. Fuck those places.
-I moved. Georgia = my favourite place to live.. and stuff.
-I like Ass-hat more than I've liked him since the three month mark of our coexistence as married people.
-I have a really awesome kid who's really fucking awesome.. also, My Mom is tall.
-I like odd numbers and multiples of 5.
Thanks.
Stop being all judge-y. I feel you being judge-y. It makes me itch.
Here's the slim of what I've been up to for the better part of a year and some days. Enjoy.
1. Living in Louisiana is probably one of the worst fucking things to ever happen to me in the history of fucking ever. I'm so not kidding. Aside from amazing friends, that's about all I got out of that experience. My marriage almost failed, my in-laws pretty much made me want to befriend the Mississippi River.. from the bridge.. like, I wanted to face-plant into it from the fucking bridge. Oh, and did I mention it was so awful that I wanted to punch baby seals with my fist? Because I did. A lot. Because is sucked. Immensely.
2. I finished school and couldn't get a job because, yay, the hospital chucked my paperwork into the garbage. This fact, coupled with the fact that the job market in the area we were living in was complete bullshit, made me even more down and depress-y. I was already down because of the fact that I lived in the gooch of the world; let's add on a really crap-tastic healthcare system and failing local economy. Thanks, universe. Fuck you very much.
3. I decided to move, and, thankfully, my amazing husband was supportive and decided after finishing up the jobs he was already contracted out to do, he would follow me into the great known of my home state/town. So far, so good. I love living here. My kid loves living here. My husband is so stoked to live here in the next two weeks. We're those retarded happy people that I usually make fun of now only we're broke.
4. Moving really helped everything, to be honest. My marriage is better than ever, my kid is happier and healthier than she's been since we moved from here the first time, my Mom is healthier and happier having me as her slave, err, I mean having me close-at-hand... under her roof... no, this doesn't bother me in the least because I have the coolest fucking Mom ever, and living with her is pretty much like living with a bad-ass, older version of me.. and taller... and dorkier... but still.
5. I really don't have a 5, but I am extremely OCD, and I really like odd numbers. Especially when they're multiples of 5. They make-ah me happy...ah. Whatever.
So, in conclusion, here's what we should be taking away from this post. In multiples of 5. Again. Redundancy FTW!:
-I hate the entire state of Louisiana and most of Mississippi. Fuck those places.
-I moved. Georgia = my favourite place to live.. and stuff.
-I like Ass-hat more than I've liked him since the three month mark of our coexistence as married people.
-I have a really awesome kid who's really fucking awesome.. also, My Mom is tall.
-I like odd numbers and multiples of 5.
Thanks.
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