Pizza isn't comfort food when it makes you violently ill..

Today, like the rest of the past few weeks, has been insane. Here is a little bit of a recap of today that pretty much mirrors the last two weeks, and will project on to the rest of this month:

Melodrama had the entire house up before morning Taps to pile into our extremely depressing car and drive two hours to Atlanta. If you live in Georgia, or have ever been to Atlanta, you understand. It wasn't exactly my dream morning.
We get to 400, and BAM! - traffic. Lots and lots of traffic. Of course Ass-band wasn't exactly helpful; Why would he be when he knows I'll just put on my Super Mom cape and do everything with a smile?

So after dealing with a missing doll, cup, and stray M&M, we finally get there.


OHMYallegoryforgodDUDE!!!!! They have full-time super cool therapy dogs that just sit on really funky couches next to massive fish tanks all day. Melodrama was so excited about life at the moment of eye contact with the animals that we spent 30 minutes standing around in a massive lobby with a volunteer and several other screaming children. Cue anxiety hives, exhaustion, migraine, and general unhappiness. Now, to elaborate, I love my daughter more than I love caffeine, right? I don't love crowds, screaming and squealing noises from well over a dozen children, and I'm allergic to dogs.
Yes, the dogs were amazingly friendly and over-enthusiastic about my toddler hanging from their necks, the fish were gorgeous, and the volunteer that lead us to Lab was super understanding of Melodrama's ADHD. No, I wasn't having a good time - especially when there were other mothers there trying to ask me strange and semi-personal questions.

"How old is your daughter? You look exceptional for a young mother."
"How did you lose all the baby weight?"
"How do you keep your piercings in?"

To answer your extremely nosy questions, Mom-zillas:

- She's two; Yes, I'm pretty banging for a young Mom.
- I don't sit on my ass eating cupcakes and Twinkies all day. I get up off my lazy ass and stay moving ALL DAY. Thanks for the compliment - albeit it wasn't delivered in a very considerate fashion.
- I just fucking do.

All in all, Melodrama came out two vials of blood lighter, 20 + stickers and band-aids more decorated, and exhausted both myself and Ass-band. It was a rather eventful day that I can't even continue typing for fear of reliving it in my mind and becoming even more wiped out.


I get home to e-mails that won't wait - nice right? I am now going to be hosting a very awkward visit from my Dad and my Step-Mom. This should make for one hella fantastic blog when I return from the land of Children's Hospital of Atlanta next week sometime.

Melodrama just informed me that I should be cleaning up her mess thanks to Ass-band; I guess I should get on that now.


Anyone have any M&M's I can give her to quell the screaming and running around? hehe.. yeah.

I Feel: The Need To Share Stupid Things With You

As Husband likes to scream randomly and for no apparent reason - I feel.

Like crap. I don't know if the insomnia, allergies, heat/chill, excursion into public, or general lack of motivation is to blame. I'm starting to believe it's leaving the comfort of my non-socially awkward home that makes me feel like I'm scraping the bottom of the "living and breathing" barrel for days after the trek.




Munchface fell asleep on me today and I couldn't get up and start doing things around the house for fear of waking her, so I slept right along with her.




Bad idea.




I woke up with a strong urge to put the baby gate up in front of her door and leave a snack and a movie rolling so I could go back to sleep. Needless to say, I sat there until I was awake enough to help her down the stairs - while she sat there and played bongo drums on my head. I think she was trying to recreate taps or something as they blared through the window. I just laid there, still and hoping she'd magically fall back and sleep another 12 hours. Didn't happen...

General Dudeman invited Husband to a pin-on ceremony today. Awesome? Yes. Uncool at the same time? Roger. With a little over a month before we're officially a civilian family again, ready to assimilate to the non-military life outside of base confines, we have to buy new Dress Blues. Lame. Military uniforms are basically priced the same way as necessary medications and college textbooks. Ridiculously expensive for no apparent reason other than "we know you need these, so we know you'll pay this asinine amount of money for them".

Not exactly fun for us. Hey, military, if you want us to pay half a paycheck for uniforms when needed - pay better.

Husband came home today after buying said items and was all "Hey! My girls are awake. Woman, baby-thing, how was your day? I'm super hyper, super excited, and super ready to get on your nerves with my chipper demeanor!".

Not really the second part of that, but the first did get on my last nerve. When I'm not chipper and in a pleasant disposition, I don't want you to be either. I want you to recognize the signs of my exhaustion and extreme "blah-ness", and back off. Munchface was extremely happy to see him, and was eager to reciprocate his enthusiasm with equal parts of her own, however, which was a good thing; At least he brought an offering of Red Bull and bottled water.

I read today via military.com that The Air Force has decided to extend deployment times from 120 days to 179 days. Exactly one day short of an achievement medal - which is well deserved after the utter bullshit they have to go through. I for one am extremely displeased, and have already drafted yet another extremely upset letter to my state government. How can you sit there and cheat people who are already spending time away from their family and friends out of something they deserve - by one day? Makes me more thankful that I'm about to join the civilian ranks. They're so determined to screw people at every turn that they're ruining the quality of Airmen they keep in. They're alienating wonderful Airmen like Husband, and keeping in crap-tastic ones that don't care about their job - at all.

Husband is getting forced out, but at the same time, not. We're both extremely happy the MEB didn't correctly review his case file because it means freedom for us.

I kind of secretly hope there's a coup, and the upper echelons of the Air Force are usurped from their positions. There also needs to be a competent president from a military background to make decisions, but I'll save that for another day.




I just had a cookie hurled at my forehead, with deadly accuracy. Munchface is going to be a ninja sniper prodigy at the rate she's going. Special Ops, look out.