Probably the last article I will port over. Maybe.
I have the best job in the world. I get to surf the web all day, watch TV at night, and write about anything I want to. It makes me all warm and fuzzy to know that I get to share my opinions -- good or bad -- with the masses.
Also, I get to wear my pajamas most of the day. That's always a nice feeling.
Now, I love me some YouTube. It's awesome. I can get lost for hours watching videos of people popping cysts, the weirdness of "scene queens", crazy Photoshop wonders, and lame slide shows. I also get graced with things that melt faces with their extreme awesomeness. Below, a list of the awesome channels will be made for your subscribing pleasure. Fair warning, some of these channels contain strong language, opinions, and extreme hotness.It's a thing, don't judge me.
As "Mommy" to a toddler, I'm not the world's best parent. I'm usually at a loss as to what she wants/needs, but I'm learning as I go, and trying new things every day. I know to give her home-cooked, healthy meals as often as I can, to give her a vitamin, bathe her and brush her teeth, and try not to lose my shit when she won't listen. I also know that a perfectly timed press of the "play" button on my remote will trigger complete and utter concentration in an otherwise unfocused toddler with ADD.
I finally jumped on the bandwagon and downloaded Draw Something. I tried to get the paid version, but, apparently the Google Market hates me, so I had to settle for the free version. I bugged a couple of friends (who dearly love hate me) to play, and got down to business.
OHMYGOD! I can't draw. At all. In any situation. It's terrible. But this game? It's so much fun! I am mighty with my stick figures, let me tell you. I can't believe I waited so long to grab this app. It's quickly becoming my favorite game, and I've only had it for an hour or so. I am having a blast trying to draw things like an Ewok, sideburns, justice, Norway, Adele -- and most of the time, people are getting it. How, exactly, people are getting it, I will never know.
Since I joined this whole Klout mess to get free stuff, I've received several perks that I enjoyed. An awesome screen cleaner, several early-access codes to start ups that I can check out and use before the hype, several codes to websites (hey free money!), etc. It's been a generally interesting experience, though them telling me I earned a perk AFTER it's full isn't cool, I'm just sayin'.
I got the Home Run Inn frozen pizza perk, and was stoked. A free meal for my ridiculously hungry family. Score. I'm broke, so this was like a gift from the heavens above. The pack came, and inside was a folder FULL of information on the company, the coupons for two free pizzas of my choosing, and a really awesome pizza cutter.
I LOVE the pizza cutter. I got the pack about a month and a half ago, and I've used it over every other one in the house. It's also really amazing (to me AND everyone else in the house) that you can take it apart and get it completely clean.
We finally got around to getting the pizzas yesterday. We were told that they were only sold in our area at Ingles and Publix. Publix is hours away, and Ingles is farther than I care to drive, even for free pizza. And then, what a crazy, random happenstance! We found them at the local Bi-Lo. The variety was limited, but the two family favs were there, so we grabbed a Classic Pepperoni and a Classic Cheese.
When I opened the package, I was a bit confused, to be totally honest. The cheese has already been baked.. I was completely skeptical that twice-baked cheese would be any good. I popped them in, cooked them, and tossed a salad on the table. Supper time! Ding ding!
We all sat down, and the adults (because my toddler could care less what it tastes like, as long as it's pizza) went to tasting. I love that my family will pretty much do anything I ask them to when I tell them it's for my blog.
Here are the reviews of four normal people (who usually either eat homemade pizzas, or the cheapest frozen one I can find that doesn't look like cardboard. It all depends on time and how broke I am that paycheck.):
Now, my husband is a completely picky eater. He was raised on fast food, and anything that comes in a package. He loved it. He said it reminded him of Johnny's Pizza, which is based out of select cities in Louisiana. He didn't care for the pepperoni, because it's bland. I think he's just so used to processed pepperoni, that he has no idea what uncured slices taste like. He said he would prefer it over every other frozen pizza AND Pizza Hut, Papa John's, and Domino's (Is that how you spell it? Whatever.). HRI has scored a fan with him, and that's not easy.
My Mom likes it. She likes the crust, and the fact that the cheese tasted like black olives on certain parts of the pepperoni pizza. It's not her favourite brand, and she definitely wouldn't pay $7-$9 for one, but she said it was really good.
Kiddo was just happy to have pizza, but she seemed to eat the crust without as much fuss. That's always nice.
My opinion is a little more critical, because I'M JUST LIKE THAT, OKAY?! I found it off-putting that parts of the pepperoni pizza's cheese tasted like canned black olives. I'm not a fan of them at all. The sauce was a little sweet for my taste, because I like spicier marinas. The cheese pizza was okay, but I'm not into the twice-baked cheese. It was really chewy, and lost a lot of it's flavour. The crust was probably the only thing I liked about it, and to be honest, I've had better wheat crust. I know that it's probably a great pizza when you get it fresh from the actual franchise, and maybe another variety would've suited me better, but even though it's a frozen pizza, I was left lacking. So much so, that I took a couple of bites of each kind, and was more content to eat my salad. I hate to be overly-critical, but that's my honest opinion of it. Three outta four ain't bad, right? I definitely wouldn't spend the money to buy THIS particular pizza. I will be sticking with the same old, same old. If they happen to have them on sale, I would probably buy them so the rest of my family could have them, but I'd be sticking with the rabbit food I throw on the table to make myself feel like less of a crappy parent.
So, that's that. Two pizzas, total value $15.98 normally(sans tax), on sale this week for $11.98(again, tax not included, mostly because I'm lazy), and with the coupons provided, free.
Also, I don't agree with Huband. They taste nothing like Johnny's.
*I was given a free product or sample because I'm a Klout influencer. I was under no obligation to receive the sample or talk about this company. I get no additional benefits for talking about the product or company.
I found this show on Netflix. I had no idea that it's old as fuck. I'm in love with it, and it keeps the kid busy while I work. Here's the skinny on this new (old as fuck) show:
Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater is a show that takes old stories and re-purposes them into a Hello Kitty version. Think old Disney movies, classic works of fiction, and fairy tales coming to life in the Hello Kitty universe. Stories like Peter Pan, Cinderella, Pinnochio, The Wizard of Oz, and Dracula are transformed into Peter Penguin, Cinderkitty, Pinnochio Penguin, The Wizard of Paws, and Catula. They even did one that recreated ET: KT — The Kitty Terrestrial.
Cute, right?
Look, it may be the same stories that we all know and love, but this is my opinion: It changes it up. I'm not constantly watching the same version over-and-over. It gives my kid something new to watch, and it introduces her to new characters in a familiar format. Everyone likes something new and different, right?
I'm a huge fan and I highly recommend it — especially for younger ones. The stories are slow enough for little kids to grab on and they're fun and interesting enough to hold their attention. I find myself looking up and getting lost in the tales myself.
Check it out, you may be pleasantly surprised!
*I was not paid, endorsed, or even asked to do a review. I highly doubt anyone gives a shit about my opinion, anyway. Let's be smart here, folks.
And now I'm going to blog about them. I meant to do this yesterday, but I had some issues with one of my loan applications, and I spent almost the entire day dealing with patronizing, completely rude people. For once, I was nice, and I don't think I will ever make that mistake again. I'm better when I'm a total bitch.
Back to the point...
CES. OMG. STILL WANT ALL THE THINGS! Well, some of the things. This blog has things I would LOVE to have, and some that I just LOVE making fun of. Like I said, I'm better when I'm a total bitch.
See how I did that? Set you up with my personal bullshit and then tied it in? I'm a genius.
The Koala Mount by Dockem
It works kind-of like a picture frame for your iPad/iPad2. It uses the same concept that Command Adhesive Strips use to attach itself to the surface of your choice. That means no damage to anything you decide to stick it to. I saw the press pitch video and there was a dude and a fridge. I think my husband would have it attached to the bathroom wall. Maybe this would be a good compromise to a huge t.v?
There's a cord clip and a smart cover included. My only concern with this product is it's capability to accommodate other tablets. I'm thinking this thing will make money, but will it make the money that it has the potential to make if it's only Apple-friendly? I've seen some pretty sick tablets in the CES coverage, and they're not Apple products. I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for this and may even be purchasing one myself. I think the ability to mount your tablet when you get home or to the office is a great thing. Let's just hope Apple won't be the only tablet maker with a specific mount.
PureGear Innovation: 2012 Signature Lineup
I like that someone is challenging Otterbox. I'm finding their products to be less-protective and more annoying. Let's hope these cases, mounts, and general accessories are easier on the wallet. They're definitely easier on the eyes and more functional. They even have one with a sight built in. DO WANT! They're evolved and come in interesting colours and styles. I think I even caught a glimpse of some pretty interesting ear buds. I wouldn't mind owning one of these awesome cases with a mount to keep it handy in the car or on the go.
OnTrion Extended Life Batteries
FCC approved batteries for your smartphones. In short, they make your shit last longer. I would LOVE to see if these babies actually extend phone life through all the app opening and Facebook/Twitter trolling we do on a daily basis. As far as I know, they're going to be available for a variety of phones, and while they make cost a bit more than a regular battery, it would definitely be worth it to know your phone isn't going to die when you aren't near a charger. If you're getting chased by zombies and you need to phone-a-friend, you're covered. There's battery life for that.
Net Nanny: Now Mobile!
Net Nanny launched their mobile service at CES this year. That's exciting.. I think. I hope people with younger kids begging and snotting for iPhones and iPads will take full advantage of this service, but it's not something I'm worrying about yet.
Net Nanny is famous for their amazing PC protection. They block profanity, sites, and other icky things your kids shouldn't be allowed to see. They're now extending that coverage to mobile devices, and I think I'm going to be calling my sister very soon. She bought my 11 year-old niece and my 7 year-old nephew those Playstation phones for Christmas, and I think that they would benefit from a service that keeps them off sites that could potentially lead a creepy Pedo-bear to their door. Also, I cuss like a sailor and my niece follows me on Twitter. I would rather her not see those posts if it can be avoided even though she knows me for exactly who I am.
LELO Massagers
Something about Sense Motion and Sense Touch... whatevs. They still look like a vibrator from The Jetsons. They're fancy, nicely executed upper class vibrators. Enjoy the power!
ClarityOne Audio
Apparently they produce sound so pure, it'll blow you..r mind. Okay, I'm down. You come blow me.. away and I'll set you up for a new review. But, for now, here's what I've got for you:
Your design? Did you collab with LELO during the design process? I'm not even kidding. Ear Dildos. Your advertising? Come on, if you really had a good, solid product, you wouldn't be producing soft porn to get the word out.
Now, like I said, if you come blow me, we'll talk about maybe giving you a fucking mulligan. For now, this is where we stand. I am not impressed. My dollar store ear buds entice me more. They were three bucks, and they make sound go into my ears and not the room. Problem solved.
USB 3.0 Optical Repeater Over Fiber
Okay, Newnex, if you send me one of these for free, I will be your slave. Forever.
I love everything about USB 3.0. It's one of the coolest things I ever got for my computer. But, like they said, I can't do much with the 2 feet of cable I was supplied.
THEY HAVE REMEDIED MY PAIN AND SUFFERING! *profound bowing*
Up to, but not limited to 100 meters, 200 meters, the moon. Okay, not sure it'll go that far, but who knows? My mind? It is blown. I've nerdgasmed over this since I first heard about it. I can't imagine how amazing it will be when I finally have my hands on it. This is one of my favourite products from this year's CES. It's a practical solution to a common problem, and I'm thinking it won't be too overly-expensive. I paid about $200 for my USB 3.0, so I'm thinking for something like this, I will be saving up around $350. Money well-spent if I get amazing 3.0 without being chained down.
I BE FREE!
VPulse by Velodyne
These things? They seem like a whole lot of effort for ear buds. But after watching the press pitch and seeing some floor coverage, I came to realize that these might just be some of the coolest ear buds I've ever seen. I may even find myself ordering a pair when I can.
The feature an aluminum driver housing for distortion reduction. I like this. Most ear buds sound like your annoying neighbors Honda. You know, the one with the tailpipes from Walmart that make it sound like a really pissed-off bee in a tin can? Well, these will sound more like a regular pair of headphones. I can't always carry a pair of Beats around with me, so these would be nice for on-the-go music sessions.
They have noise reduction built-in and two sets of different sizes of ear pieces. For someone like me, who has a toddler, a husband, and oddly-shaped ears, these two features alone make me pull out my debit card and hit the "add to cart" button.
They come in funky colours and the ear pieces are black or white gel material (I'm assuming it's a gel-like material). They look comfy and they're pretty much custom ear buds for everyone. Add in the flat cord and super nice travel case, and I'm picking express shipping and hanging out around the door until they get here.
Sensics Smart Goggles with the power of Android
Please, just google the shit out of these babies. I can't even put my feelings into words. I'm sure that there are flaws, but my GOD they're pretty.
Zienon Touch-Free Gesture Control Technology
If you want to feel like a Jedi, get this shit installed in your house ASAP. Want to turn your lights on and off just by flipping your fingers around? This is your product. Want to possibly go through a divorce because you start talking like Vader or Yoda every time your spouse turns around, because oh-my-fucking-god it's amazing? Get this.
And this, my friends, ends my list of products that are awesome, and not-so awesome. I got most of my info from doing some mad-crazy Google stalking and cesweb.org. I recommend doing some research of your own, checking out Spike TV and G4TV sites, and What's Trending. There is so much bad ass tech coming out this year, I am pretty sure my husband thinks I'm a loser. I spend our random phone conversations recapping, and like I blogged about earlier this week, I'm pretty sure he may be asking me to not to touch him with my nerd germs.
CES 2012 has been like nerd porn for me. When I haven't been swamped with work and school drama and motherhood, I've been glued to the coverage. I want to chuck all our stuff out the window and buy all the new tech! I want to spend my life holding hands with some of this stuff. I drool in excess. I'm totally in love with how far we've come and what's going to be the new standard this year.
This is obviously going to be a year of breakthrough tech and a whole new ballgame. I just hope you don't have to be a billionaire to afford being with the times.
DISCLAIMER: I didn't add in pictures and videos for everything because I'm a bitch. I am teasing you so you'll go check this shit out for yourself. Enjoy the techno-blue balls! :)
