Remembering Is Embarrassing

No, really. Remembering my school years bring massive amounts of embarrassment.

There's a hash tag roaming around Twitter right now that really got me thinking about my younger years: #middleschoolmemories. I remember plenty from then, and none of it is worth the tequila cravings. I haven't thought much about that time since I survived it, but now it seems to be a constant thought in the back of my mind.

In honor of Wednesday, a day when I normally at least post something, I'm going to make a list. If you have any middle school memories, you might want to do the same. I hear it keeps you young -- or drunk, because I'm leaning towards drunk right about now.

Things I Remember From Middle School:
-My first B.
-The bomb threat in 6th grade & being terrified because Columbine had just happened.
-My first friend moving away.
-The first time any of us had to worry about "social status" in a serious way.
-A lot of really awesome books.
-Scoliosis.
-Lee Pipes, but not the girl ones. I wasn't smart or cool enough to know they made those. I forced my Mom to buy me the most god-awful pair of dude jeans because I thought they were the "in" thing. I lied.
-School pictures with friends.. yeah.. let's not go there.
-My first song that was recorded AFTER the 80's. Everything I'd ever listened to was from the 20's-80's, and the song that broke that, by some odd coincidence, was "Gangsta's Paradise". My life is so fucking tragic.
-The long-sleeve t-shirt and shorts fad.
-Some really awful books.
-Sex ed. Omg.
-My first sport-related injury and the awful time I had in PE with it.
-My first crush. She was/still is sooooo gorgeous. (Bri, I'm totally talking about you.)
-My Dad's second divorce.. that bitch took my GameBoy, my games, AND MY MUTHAFUCKING GOLD NUGGETS. I hope you enjoyed them, wench.
-Chorus. Enough said.
-My Dad's third marriage.. err, live-in girlfriend? Whatevs, they're married now.
-Getting accused of cheating. Twice. I really needed better friends. Well, once was totally legit. I hated my math teacher and he gave some fucking stupid homework. Since he never checked it, I copied down some BS. Dumb? Yes. Regretted? No. Shit happens. But the one time was complete bullshit. The chick ADMITTED it, and I still did time.
-Moving to a new school & having my academics get screwed up because my new school was retarded and didn't know what "PUT THIS KID BACK IN HER GIFTED CLASSES" meant. Obviously it meant "DON'T PUT HER IN THE MATH CLASS WITH THE CHICK WITH HICKIES".. hooker teachers, ftw! (that little incident forever fucked me in Math, and I missed out on three months of one of the best Lit classes ever. thanks for that, MCMS)
-Making some awesome friends that I still love with all my heart to this day.
-Awkward school dances.
-Being published for the second time for a poem it took me all of 2 minutes to write.
-Duke University stuff. Oh, what fun.
-Kissing a boy and getting really grossed-out. Hello? Girls were way better.
-Braces. Fuck those things.
-My third perfect score on the ITBS test.. yes, I'm THAT old. They were still ITBS back then.
-Poptart sticks. OHMYGAWD! Genius.
-Those talking beanbag things; you threw them and they made noises when they hit stuff? My Dad got me one from Lowe's or somewhere. It was cool as hell.
-The introduction of Campbell's Chunky Soups to my life. NOM.
-New Balances. Admittedly, I thought they were knock-off Nike's. I was that retarded.
-Almost getting thrown out of school for short shorts -- that were 1" above my knees. I still hate that teacher, and apparently so does everyone else. Lady, you're a bitch. Get over yourself.
-My first MOD walk.
-Our dryer catching on fire and pretty much destroying all my favourite clothes. Including my first pair of satin pajamas. They were peach, and they were fucking awesome.


Okay, enough. I remember other things, but this list is starting to make me wonder how I managed to have any friends.

Happy Wednesday, all!