05 April 2012

Snacking On Crac-- Err, Jalapeno Cream Cheese Awesomeness

I once told someone that I would start blogging about the random things I've created/cooked in my kitchen.

Once again, I failed to do so.. over and over and over. Did you read my post about why I totally suck ass at blogging? Because this -- this right here -- is why. I'm a failure. Obviously.

Well, to make up for my crappy shortcomings, here's a recipe that I piddled around on for a couple of months while pregnant, and perfected right when the heartburn kicked in. Oh, joy.

Let's not forget that this shit is like crack. On a veggie. Or a cracker. More-so on a damn cracker. The fatty inside isn't allowed to eat this with crackers. Ever.. but I do. Like now. Someone save me from myself.. and this container. PLEASE.. not really.

Okay, so moving on to the good part! My recipe, some pretty pictures (sort-of), and a few of my favourite ways to use this sweet creamy nectar of the gods:

Jalapeno (no, I most certainly CANNOT make special characters, thankyousoverymuchasshole) Cream Cheese Dip

Most of the ingredients, right here. So fucking easy.

- Half, to one entire package of cream cheese (depends on how much you want to make, really, and I usually use the super low fat kind, so I can justify eating more)
- As many jalapeno slices as your little heart desires (mine? chock full of them.. and that is the brand I lovelovelove, so I use them all the time.)
- Generous dash of Worcestershire sauce
- Seasoned Salt to taste (Lawrey's is the best.. is that even spelled right? omg)
- tablespoon of minced garlic (with or without juice.. and you can use less if you're not a huge fan like me.. this is why I don't blog recipes.. I don't really have any. I just throw shit together.. and it sometimes comes out great)

Blend it all together with whatever you choose (I used my old school mini chopper, because I like when all the jalapenos don't get all chopped up.. chunky dip!) to do that with, transfer to mouth  dish/bowl/storage container. Keeps great for about a week. Not that it'll last that long, but I'm just sayin'.

Now that you see I'm completely retarded when it comes to writing a recipe.. or remembering to use proper punctuation in parenthesis, here are some more pictures, and my favourite ways to eat this stuff.. no, off my fingers or shoveled into my mouth don't count. Shut up.

Town House cracker + carrot stick. I add Baco-s when I want to be fancy pants Kate. Plus, they're pretty! :) And that post-it is clean.. I just wanted to feel artsy. Instagram and wine do that to a person.

In my super cute little dip bowls.. HA! Like I only ate that much. I'm honestly laughing at the tiny portion photographed. This is also sans Baco-s, and still yummy as all get out!

I love to eat this with crackers, dried french bread, croutons, carrots, broccoli, as a sandwich topper, with celery (that I hate any other time), fresh squash, baby corn, mushrooms.. off my fingers, off your fingers.. I don't care. This stuff is good with anything.

People assume you spent lots of time on it, so it's great for parties and the likes.. it's also a great healthy snack if you do it right. I think you can even make a cheese ball thing with dried beef out of it fairly easy.. well, I know you can, but it's such a pain in the ass that I just don't. People can deal with a half-ass presentation since it tastes like Jesus rubbed his awesomeness all over it.

Oh, and it also works great as a spread for toast and bagels.. and in omelets. Especially in omelets. With spinach in them. OMFG. SO. GOOD.

I cut my own hair.. and I don't look crazy. I'm proud of myself. I had to change the subject. I was headed for the fridge. THE DIP IS SEDUCING ME!


  1. I am going to have to make that, I have most of the ingredients.

    1. I suggest letting it sit overnight.. it's better when it has time to meld and get all flavor-y and awesome.

      It's rather difficult to do this, so yeah -- good luck!